2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you had a terrible childhood, there are still positive aspects to this.
By recognizing that in the past, something may have been “not very good”, you gain the opportunity not only to avoid it in adulthood, but also to choose exactly how it will be good for you.
The impact of family history on life is different.
Someone once realizes that they are unconsciously repeating the parental scenario.
It's good when people like how things are going.
But not everyone is so lucky. Especially when it happens without their special efforts or even against their will.
Someone is very dissatisfied with the history of the family and does everything to not be like relatives.
It may seem that the person is acting according to their will. But this is not the case. Action "in spite of" is also not freedom. Because the choice is made from the position: "whatever you want, if only just the opposite."
And the most interesting and free option is to understand how everything worked in your family, to form your attitude towards this and to realize that you have many choices and your own path.
You can, like parents, you can do quite the opposite, but you can - as you want!
You will understand that you have got the third option, when, when making vital decisions, you stop thinking about how your parents would act in this situation.
By tradition, I will share with you an example story)
One woman suspected she was pregnant.
She was very worried, anticipating how she would have to deal with this now. After all, she has no relatives at all and she is not officially married.
How to combine work with a small child? How can she do it alone?
You know, she was lucky because her mother also raised her herself. And so this woman already knew what life was like when there was not enough time for the simplest things.
And she knew she didn't want to do the same.
What to do in such a situation?
You can repeat the parent scenario and carry "your cross". Family philosophy prescribed full responsibility, atonement, and punishment for all one's actions and mistakes.
You can act from the position of "all the way around" and not leave the child.
This is a radical but healthy solution when you don't want to drive yourself into a life-long sacrifice situation.
And these are her scripts!
Other people could have raised other questions: about the value of life, which should not be encroached upon; about the impossibility of giving birth to a child out of wedlock; about the vocation of a woman … and much more!
But back to our story.
How to proceed?
How not to take on too much, but also not reject what happened?
But what if we assume that you don't have to handle everything on your own?
What if there are people willing to help?
What if you ask them?
You know, when she told her friends about what happened to her, a miracle happened.
Several people, including the employer, told her that they would provide support: presence, concrete help, money, experience.
You see, her mother never asked for support.
This woman, too, was not supposed to. But she asked. And it turned out that everything could be completely different.
Everything can be different if you act "not in spite of", not "as is customary", but according to your own vision and feeling.
I wish you inspiration as you create your life!
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