Coins With Kids

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

(article was published in the journal "Our Psychology", June 2014)

We created them with our own hands, and now we are afraid that they will rule our lives. For some, money is freedom, for others it is a catalyst for fears and doubts. From generation to generation we pass on our attitude to these "pieces of paper". However, there is still a lot of controversy about when and how to start a financial conversation with your kids

Money is surrounded by a whole fan of prejudices, stereotypes and a rather diverse range of feelings and experiences. Every adult, becoming a parent, thinks: at what age is it worth starting a conversation about money at all? How exactly? Whether to give funds for "pocket money"? Do you control spending?

CULT OF MONEY

If we say that in no case should we spend the last money, and we ourselves buy shoes for the remaining 200 dollars, then, most likely, the child will follow our example, and not listen to our words. It is no secret that it is actions that children perceive as an educational algorithm. Whether we put money at the forefront or do not attach any importance to it at all - all this will be reflected in our children. Of course, there are several interesting options for acquaintance with banknotes, among which you can choose your own, the most suitable for you.

“When I remember my childhood in the light of monetary relations, the first thing that appears is the picture of my coin purse. It was such a device with springs, where you could put coins depending on their value. In itself, it was interesting for me, and even more so with “countless treasures”. I remember that my mother periodically gave me some small change that I accumulated in this device, and we went and bought something with them. Often it was our trip to a cafe, where we ate an eclair and drank a cup of tea. I liked the feeling of some kind of event and solemnity."

Some child psychologists recommend that you begin your acquaintance with money in early childhood. It is important not to give this process excessive seriousness, so that the child does not develop an idea of money as something reserved for him to grow and grow. You can turn it all into a game and at the same time teach your child to count. A handful of coins given to your child will allow you to develop an interest in finance in your child.

FROM THREE TO FIVE YEARS

Starting from the age of three, you can take your baby with you to the store so that he can see the purchase process. If you wish, you can even give him the opportunity to pay for the purchase to the cashier, so he will feel his importance along with the adults. Perhaps the child will want to buy something himself, and here it is worth supporting him. Over time, bills can be added to coins, while explaining their importance.

“A story comes to mind about my childhood trips to the store at my mother's request. At first, I helped make simultaneous purchases, but in different departments. I felt pretty confident and secure when my mother was around. It was very pleasant for me to feel like an adult, but I was worried later when I went to the store alone. It was like this for a long time, until this activity turned into something routine for me. I was afraid that something would go wrong, that they would ask me some question and I would not be able to answer it."

At the age of three to five years, the child's behavior is aimed at trying to express himself independently. Pocket money will give the little person a sense of independence. It is just here that it is worth developing a systematic approach - you give out some amount to the child once a week or once every two weeks, depending on your own income, at a strictly allotted time. If the amount is over on the very first day, it is important to keep the rules and not give out money ahead of time. In this way, the child will learn to allocate his funds. It is equally important to give the child the freedom to choose when spending money, even if it is the fifth doll or car. You can advise something, express your opinion, but the child himself decides what to buy for him.

FROM FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS

At the age of five to six years, your child can be involved in the discussion of the family budget so that he understands how money functions in your family. It may look like the distribution of funds in the family: “We need to buy shoes and a raincoat for dad, a handbag and trousers for mom, and you, daughter, a new dress and sandals. But there is not enough money for everything, something will need to be postponed for the next month "or" We set aside such and such an amount for food, for paying for an apartment and for parking my father's car, so there is still a significant amount from which we will take funds for the purchase of pencils and paints, and we will postpone the rest."

SEVEN TO TWELVE YEARS

Already at the age of seven, it makes sense to talk about the rich and the poor. A child at this age begins to become more aware of himself and those around him. Children are already evaluating who has the best pencil case or paints, who is dressed how and the like. You can also talk about how parents make money.

“I remember how mom and dad took me to their work at the age of five or six. Each time it was a huge experience for me. They told me what they were doing, showed me exactly how. Dad worked as an engineer, they had drawing boards and there were thin and clear lines. Mom worked in the personnel department, in a bright, comfortable room. Then I realized that I want to be like a mother, to sit surrounded by women, where there are bright colored markers, drink tea and have intimate conversations."

You can often hear the opinion that the early entry of a child into adulthood is undesirable, since it is traumatic for the child's psyche. Perhaps the monetary sphere is an exception. The point of the whole action is to acquaint the child with what can or can not be done with money. Demonstrate how money gets into the family and how it is spent.

FROM TWELVE TO SEVENTEEN YEARS

The older the child gets, the more pocket money he needs. In adolescence, the money issue is more relevant than ever. However, money should be filled with meaning in relationships with parents: the more the amount you spend, the more conversations and conversations, disputes, teamwork you need to spend with your child. Otherwise, money can supplant the emotional relationship of the child with the parents, replacing care, tenderness and parental warmth. In order to teach a child of any age to wait and want something, it is important not to blindly satisfy all his needs as they arrive, even if there are means for this.

“When I was a teenager, personal money was essential and at the same time not enough. I already wanted to buy some kind of cream, save money for gifts for parents and girlfriends, if the holidays are coming. I wanted to save a lot and have enough for everything. I came to the gallery of folk art, where I bought small figures made of glass and chose each one as if I was putting my soul into it, I wanted this piece of glass to carry a million meanings."

If a teenager wants to earn extra money, then it is worth supporting him in this endeavor, it is only important that this does not affect his health and studies. Together with your son or daughter, you can prioritize, look for a way to make money mentally, not physically. You can draw the child's attention to how the work of a qualified specialist is valued in each case. Perhaps this experience will serve as a stimulus for your child's further professional experience.

WHAT IS NOT WORTH DOING

Money is often the means by which some parents buy off their children. An attempt to “buy love”, as a rule, leads to the fact that the child does not receive the necessary care and warmth, he has a deficit of love, he is offended, angry. It is important that money does not become the subject of manipulation and control in your family - both by parents and children. You should not extol money for a special pedestal, so that, for example, the loss of 500 rubles or a textbook on algebra does not become a tragedy. Do not encourage teenagers to choose friends on the basis of wealth. It is important to make it clear to the child that your love and faith in him is unconditional, and finances are a means, not an end. Also, money should not be a payment for good grades, cleaning and any other housework. Otherwise, the chances are great to get a "home businessman" who will not take a step without additional stimulation.

It is in our power to turn the acquaintance of a child with money into a game, and an interesting one. The most important thing is to find the right and comfortable form for financial communication for both of you. Give your child at least a little independence to satisfy their desires. This is what can become the foundation for the emergence of responsibility. After all, all family education in this matter is aimed only at ensuring that the child learns that money is not an end, but a means. And above all, it's important to remember that a lot depends on your relationship with finances. Therefore, it is worth analyzing your own behavior - this will be a kind of hidden message to your children.