Got Rid Of My Script, And Then Emptiness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The popularization of psychology allows many to notice in themselves and understand that you are under the rule of some destructive scenario - a “loser scenario”. A person can identify the reasons for his falling under this addiction, understand why this scenario fell into his soul and took possession of his consciousness. But it is quite natural that the question often arises: what next? Many people have a feeling that "what's next is emptiness." It is not clear what to do, it is not clear how to live. A person, as it were, receives "freedom from …" and not "freedom for …"

Does the realization of the script always come with insight?

This happens sometimes, especially with romantic and passionate people. Realizing their problems really inspires them to take action, and they begin to live life to the fullest. This is a kind of retribution of fate for the fact that people believe in miracles, and despite their hard life, they still hope for the best. Sometimes the effect of awareness comes in the form of light insight, it does not radically change a person's life, but there is an understanding of which direction to move in, what would be reasonable to do.

But more often than not, the dream of insight and insight remains only a beautiful myth that both psychologists and their clients like. It brings to life a sense of magic and magic, magical healing. Psychologists, being in the field of this myth, can feel like miracle workers or great psychotherapists. Customers expect the pumpkin to finally turn into a carriage, and they themselves - into a princess or a prince.

When people understand that the magic rite has been completed, clarity appeared in their heads, and they even managed to get rid of anger and resentment at those who harassed them so much, they bitterly discover that the world has remained the same. And they got a clear understanding of what … puddle they are in.

For example, a girl understands that all her difficult affairs, with long and painful partings, were the result of the fact that all her life she tried to win the love of her father, and at the same time she was afraid of the irritation and anger of her mother, who, as it turned out, was simply jealous of her not only to the father, but also to everyone in the world. She tried to win the love of her men, and after they began to reciprocate her, her mother was included in her, and she began to discredit and devalue her chosen ones, proving to herself that they were with her only out of a sense of duty or that she for them it is only temporary entertainment.

And once again returning home in tears and snot, and sobbing into the pillow in her children's room, in which nothing has changed during all these years, the girl suddenly realizes that by doing this she has once again confirmed the old predictions and curses that my mother used to say in childhood: "he doesn't love you, you are just a toy for him."

Suppose a girl even realizes that if she had not been afraid of her mother's anger and contempt, who threatened to punish her for betrayal, and would not have chosen a grief-stricken tit instead of a crane cutting circles around her, then she could have been closer to her father. And then his visits would not turn into rituals of politeness, and would become more frequent and more joyful. Realizing all this, the girl realizes that she and her father have long become strangers, and the past cannot be returned, even if she meets him and has a heart-to-heart talk.

You can express to him all the grievances for the fact that he turned out to be no smarter than a child and did not understand that her bitchiness and capriciousness at meetings were a manifestation of loyalty to her mother, that she was torn between two fires, and chose what was more accessible and understandable. Maybe he will even cry and sincerely apologize to her, maybe they will even hug. But she is no longer 9 years old, but 35.

I told you this heartbreaking, but quite realistic story, not at all in order to awaken pity and compassion for the heroine. My task was to show that in itself the awareness of the magic of the script and even some catharsis that comes with understanding, sometimes in itself does not change anything. And most often a meeting and a dialogue with a parent only leads to the fact that he throws up his hands in confusion and asks: what do you want from me now? And sometimes people even run into irritation or aggression because they make their parents feel guilty, and their life has not turned out the way they would like. In general, a happy ending does not happen.

Why is there a feeling of emptiness?

Living under the control of the script allowed me to feel like everything was going according to plan. Let's say a child heard at an early age a spell or a prediction from his parents that "you won't get away from us and you will be just like us." He remembers his parents exactly at the age at which they cast this spell. If the parents were at that time, say, 40 years old, then the action of the family scenario ends precisely at this age. A person finds himself the same as his parents in their 40s, if this is a "role model". He can proudly discover that he has become the opposite of his parents if it was a negative scenario, a "protest scenario." But in any case, the action of the script is terminated, and what to do next is not clear. Both in the soul and in the head - emptiness.

Sometimes the magic of the script ends because a person discovers that he has already played the same scheme many times in his life. This is the same as constantly listening to the same fairy tale. At some point, drama and stormy experiences are replaced by boredom and melancholy. But there are no other fairy tales in the soul of a person, and from this there is longing in the soul and emptiness in the heart.

If a psychologist helps a person to understand his scenario, then very often, looking into the eyes of a triumphant connoisseur of human souls, proud of the work done, the client realizes that he only experiences sadness and resentment from the fact that he spent so much time on all this nonsense. To the question: "What should I do now"? The person receives the answer: "live", "be yourself." After this answer comes the understanding that now you are elusive and free, like the elusive cowboy Joe. And you are free for the same reason that he is: you just don't need anyone in FIG. In the soul - a feeling of freedom and at the same time - emptiness.

The work with the psyche is completed, then you have to raise your personality to its feet.

Many psychologists, followed by other people, are convinced that a psychologist works only with the human psyche. But this is not the case. And the example of getting rid of a person from the harmful influence of his life scenario is a clear example of this. Using the language of metaphors, we can say that the script is the “program” that writes on the “system disk” of our psyche. After this "Trojan" is detected and eliminated, false and harmful attitudes cease to enter consciousness, there is a prolonged pause - no programs at all enter consciousness: nothing else is recorded on the "system disk". the system disk is not a potential opportunity for anything new to be written to it.

And not only that, our psyche was formatted in such a way that our thoughts and feelings came into action exactly according to the instructions of this script. But it was removed and no other indication of how and how to mobilize the resources of our personality is coming. And we do not know how to set goals for ourselves, they used to jump out of the psyche as if by themselves.

All personal structures of a person, his intellectual and communicative muscles, developed taking into account the fact that he was realizing his life scenario. It is difficult for a skater to become a boxer and a swimmer to become a jockey. The presence of a script can lead to the fact that a person does not have the necessary skills to design his own life. And in the arsenal of his personality there are no tools necessary for this.

In this case, we are not talking about fears and complexes that can lurk in the human psyche and interfere with his normal life. A person can get rid of all their fears to get rid of complexes. A clear understanding of what is happening will appear in his mind, but he simply does not know what to do, and if you indicate to him - “What”, then the question arises: “and How”?

Working with a person's personality is helping him to build up the necessary organizational, intellectual and communicative muscles. Formation and development of those skills of interaction with the world and with his life, which he never specially developed.

The first thing to start with is psychological testing and diagnostics. But only in this case, it is necessary to identify not only psychological problems, but also the internal resources of the personality, "sleeping abilities", "opportunities remaining in the shadows", skills and experience in overcoming difficult situations. These resources include the experience of other people, which came into the field of vision of a person in the course of his life.

The work with the personality takes place not so much in the regime of psychotherapy and treatment as in the regime of "restorative gymnastics" and training. That is, in the context of education, not treatment. And most often this is done by life-coching specialists, not psychologists. But, on the other hand, we can say that those psychologists who have realized the problems facing their clients begin to engage in life coaching.