2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Interestingly, many people notice that the day they are living is similar to yesterday? Then week after week, month after month, year after year, and there is no particular difference in them. Except, of course, significant dates and events.
Every day no one concludes a marriage, does not finish college, does not go to serve in the army, etc. However, these events are outlined in the life scenario. But the question is - does the person write it himself, or does someone help?
If you imagine a child born into the world as a forest in which a person has not yet been, he will be beautiful. For a kid, life is like the same forest, which he is also afraid of. What is happening and where to go is not clear.
This requires a guide. With him, he will lay paths that will turn into roads. When creating routes in the external world with an assistant, the child draws a similar map in his own, internal one.
Basically, the parent is the first person to teach and help customize navigation. Then there are close relatives, educators, teachers. But what are they guided by? The fact that they were shown how to raise a child so that he "was overtaken by happiness."
Over time, the child develops a picture of life. How to use the time, where to go to study, who to marry. But the most important thing is how to limit yourself in paving new roads. Prohibitions can sound in different ways: "This is how we and our ancestors lived, and you will live this way", "The whole world is striving for … and you should wish for this", "You will be happy if you have …", and much more. What would become, as it were, his desire, which he considers his own.
Relationships will be built on the example of parents and loved ones. Kindergarten and school will also affect this, where the child learns to communicate with peers and adults. As the baby was treated, so he will do with the partner. Or vice versa, complementing it with your fantasies. Will do what he remembered, not noticing other possibilities.
Going out onto the created road, letting go of the guide's hand, the child becomes an adult. He walks boldly along the known route, thinking that he is going to new places, paving the way according to his script.
But this road was charted when he was little. It looks like a track, but the person does not notice it. Believing what they say to him: "On this path, you are a pioneer!"
Day after day, the person continues to walk, without the desire to stop and look around. What is there in the forest along which his route passes? Can he / she get out of the way?
To be where the guide did not dare to go. Climb mountains, descend into lowlands. Find forest lakes, pick mushrooms and berries.
The sadness is that such a desire cannot appear. There is no place for him in a script written by someone else but not a traveler.
From SW. gestalt therapist Dmitry Lenngren
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