2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How important it is when a child has a Grandmother.
There are a lot of articles devoted to conflicts between parents and grandmothers, when there is no “grandmother” for mothers, but only my mother or mother-in-law (your mother). So what is Granny? If we turn to fairy tales - Once upon a time there were Grandmother and Grandfather (grandfathers are also very important, but I write about grandmothers, since it is they who spend most of the time with their grandchildren). And some will remember Baba - Yaga - it seemed that the attractive in this image is an evil, terrible (in a word - an old witch (this is what they call not beloved mother-in-law and mother-in-law), but popular in fairy tales, and granddaughters and granddaughters are drawn to her. There is a Snowstorm Grandmother (a kind fair sorceress), or a Sorceress Grandmother who gave the girl a seven-color flower.
Here, perhaps, I will dwell on this image. … Let's remember that Grandmother originally meant "the oldest family", and modern society is limited to the concept of "mother of parents". And for some it makes the following sense - my mother for my children. It seems to be the same thing, but how the meaning is distorted, have you noticed?
In fairy tales, for a hero - a child, a meeting with Grandmother (in whatever image she may be) is always useful. Heroes of fairy tales go through tests, learn to wits about reason, get what is key to achieving the goal. As in fairy tales, Grandmother is the keeper of the family history, the secrets of the past, the wisdom of being, the oldest of the family.
How wonderful it is when there is a meeting between the one who is eager to give and the one who is eager to take! After all, the transfer of experience and wisdom occurs not only in a conscious process, this is favored by the very field of relations. I often watch a child with a grandmother embody their wildest fantasies and fulfill desires (the parents call it doing something that is not allowed), or follow her enchantedly when she tells him something, or when they do something together, or when they come to visit, girls often arrange a fashion show of grandmother's things, or concert evenings are held where the child freely demonstrates all his talents, or when the grandmother tells magical stories of her life at night or shares serious memories of the past, and of course, the child he feels himself the main helper when he, for example, cleans up with Grandmother (not because he is obliged to collect toys, or if older - to go for bread, because he experiences something more - like doing one thing with a guardian angel). And Grandmother can also be compared to the Guardian Angel because no matter how the child feels (good, evil, ugly, ill-mannered), he is always loved and important for her, as if she always sees the greatness of his soul. A kind of unconditional acceptance, which for many parents, due to psychological reasons, is more difficult to implement, heals the soul of the child, emphasizes the importance of HIS existence in this world.
"In order to be healed from time, one should go back and merge with the beginning of the world" (M. Eliade)
And how important the grandmother is for the grown-up grandchildren. After all, it is she who can enrich the memory of childhood (tell who you wanted to become, what you played, what methods you tried to achieve your goal). And, everything is the same as before, accepts you as you are, share wisdom with love and warmth. And it is with her that natural healing with love occurs.
It was such a grandmother who influenced the boy, whom everyone knows as Pushkin A. S. Therefore, it is very important for the child that there is “Grandma” in his life, and not the mother of mother or father. For this, the responsibility lies with adults. Mothers and fathers of children are responsible for the upbringing of their children, for the foundation of their future child. And here it is important to realize what you can and what is important to learn in “parenting”. Of course, this does not exclude seeking help from your grandmother or a weekend with your grandmother. And it is important for grandmothers not to compete with their parents.
If grandparents consider it necessary to intervene in the upbringing of their grandchildren, it only shows that they are not very successful in raising their children. Robert Lembke
It is important just to be a Grandmother to your grandson (after all, in front of you is your grandson / granddaughter, not a son / daughter), a loving and fabulous grandmother. And if the parents trust the grandmother to build relationships with the child (no matter what kind of relationship the parents have with the grandmother), and the grandmother - to the parents (especially in matters of upbringing), these will be the happiest memories of childhood.
Love Grannies and be happy!
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