About Stupid Decisions Or How To Manipulate The Illusion Of Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

One of the stupidest decisions a person can make is to deserve someone else's love. Doing something, being something or someone, chasing money or achievements - and all in order to earn love (well, or recognition, acceptance - call it what you want).

This technique is well used by manipulators of all stripes and, to be honest, manipulative parents. Anxious, insecure, infantile. And, of course, the controllers.

After all, it is through control that one can feel power. If you are weak, not so smart, not very confident in yourself - find someone who is weaker, dumber and more insecure. And control. And then you can feel strong, cunning, self-confident. Well, at least so. Or outwit the one who is smarter. Good too.

And children are perfect for such games. You can convince them of anything. And you can sculpt anything out of them. Although many, no longer children, continue to play the same games with partners, friends, colleagues. Well, and with my children, of course, where can we go without it.

The characters change, the essence of the game remains the same.

And what could be better than the best carrot in the world and the best stick in the world than the illusion of love? Which seems to have to be deserved. If you do, they promise to love. If you do not do it, they threaten to deprive me of love. And no one ever saw that love. Nobody knows what she is. It is not entirely clear how to understand whether it is there or not.

It works especially well if a person has not seen or felt that love in his life. Then it is so easy to convince him that if you do this, you will have love. Or you become like this - and then they will love you. He does not understand how to understand whether it is there or not, that love.

Many people convince themselves that it is interesting. And they do, which is also interesting. And they become someone there, which is even more interesting.

So I will become successful, beautiful, lose some weight there, buy the most branded clothes - and everyone, they will love me, there is nowhere else to go. Or, on the contrary, I will be, poor, unhappy, all-different-wow - and they will love me.

Well, everyone has their own picture of the world, and everyone will come up with what they want.

In order to come to the same in the end.

You can't earn love. It is either there or not. But no, that's all. And not everyone is given it. What can you do.

But then one most unpleasant truth must be admitted. Neither the one who manipulates nor the one who is being manipulated has love. Neither from the one who deserves, nor from the one who deserves. Because if either the first or the second had it, the game would fall apart.

What comes from within cannot be found outside.

Or, if a person finally bothered to sit down and figure out that for him the very love that he strenuously wants to deserve, then perhaps he would not have to deserve it.

Moreover, deserving love is not at all the same as building a relationship with adults. Relationship building comes from an adult position, from awareness. Earning love is an illusory play of shadows in which the prize is power and a sense of superiority. Which, in the end, is also an illusion.

There are games in which everyone loses.