What Everyone Is Silent About, Or Trying To Pretend That Nothing Is Happening

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Today, a group of psychotherapists discussed the topic of military operations on the territory of Ukraine. The topic is complex, sad, sad and painful. Especially for those people whose relatives live in the ATO zone. A colleague says that he calls relatives to Odessa, then wait it out, and then, like, we'll see what happens. Well, or start life anew in another city. They balk. Well, this is understandable, they have their whole life there, they still have a job, a home … and hope for the best …

And if you look reality in the eye, terrorist attacks also occur regularly in Odessa. And we also close our eyes to this, pretend that nothing is happening.

And we don’t want to notice for one simple reason - then we will have to make a decision. And the decision is very difficult. Either go somewhere, or stay here and with a pain in my heart watch how our beloved cities, our compatriots are bombed. And if you leave, then where and with whom. Of course, there is another option - to take an active part in this event, but there were no volunteers among my colleagues. And this is also a choice.

And here we are faced with the strongest feelings. The first is fear. Fear at such a tangibly close approach of death and not asking who is ready to go after her today. She herself decides who has to go. It scares. We are losing control of our lives. We lose the usual stability (even if it was rather illusory). Fear bordering on horror.

We are faced with a sense of guilt towards relatives and relatives, who find themselves in a more difficult situation than ourselves. With a feeling of anger when they are not ready or do not want to accept our help. With a feeling of powerlessness when we allow them to make their choice … And a feeling of resentment, hatred and rage towards the situation, towards those who created it.

And of course, hope. Hope that soon it will all end …

So this is what I mean … Do not be afraid to discuss your feelings about what is happening with your loved ones. If they are in the ATO zone and do not want to leave from there, just say that you love them and worry about them. And give them the freedom to make their own choices.

After sharing with loved ones about your difficult experiences, talking about what is most scary, you have much less anxiety. Because if you do not talk about a problem, this does not mean that it does not exist, it does not mean that it does not cause anxiety in your soul. But when this anxiety is not differentiated, it is much more toxic than if you understand each individual fear.