2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Who has not heard this saying ?!
But in what situation does this saying have the best meaning? And when can it bring suffering?
What could be the danger of this saying?
This is what I want to talk to you about.
This proverb has several meanings.
I will tell you about some of them. And if you have your own vision: how this proverb is realized in life, write)
So, the cute ones scold only amuse themselves!
It will sound quite realistic, but on one condition - when cute can swear!))
"Like this?" - you ask.
Any quarrel, abuse is a conflict that arises on the basis of something. Those. something was the reason for the dissatisfaction of one, and he decided to express this very reason.
The second, for some reason, could not correctly perceive what the first told him, so he reacted in such a way that the first did not like it. So, word for word and the seemingly simple appeal of one to the second, grew into a quarrel or abuse.
And now none of them even remembers the beginning of the quarrel, each has its own grievances and claims inside.
But it all started with a simple desire - SHARE your thoughts, your experiences.
How to avoid this end of such sincere desires?
How to make the saying "Lovely ones scold only amuse themselves" a reality?
First of all, you need to learn how to argue.
Yes, yes, an argument is not something terrible. An argument is a whole philosophy. Socrates said that in a dispute, truth is born.
And truth cannot be born when a person is captured by negative emotions, resentment and accusations arise.
Socrates came up with a whole theory of controversy.
Philosophers are philosophers, but each person may well learn to conduct a dialogue in the form of a dispute, as a result of which truth is born.
Moreover, this truth will satisfy both opponents, while each will experience only positive emotions.
How to dispute?
1. Build your phrase so that your proposal does not sound like an accusation.
2. Start with the I-message "I think, I think I would like, in my opinion …".
3. Keep in your head the thought "I have no desire to humiliate or offend my opponent during an argument. My task is to convey my idea to him, and if it turns out to be misunderstood or seems strange, then listen to the opinion of another. Give arguments."
4. Listening to the interlocutor, let him say to the end. Do not cling to offensive phrases and words so as not to turn the dialogue in the other direction, just say that you are unpleasant to hear such words and such a tone.
5. If your interlocutor does not know how to speak differently, then stop this conversation. And tell me the reason.
6. During the dialogue, constantly keep in focus what you started this conversation for.
7. If you see that the arguments of the interlocutor are worthy, that they are correct - admit it, you do not need to give in to pride and insist on your own, if only the truth is yours. (Remember that pride is one of the sins of humanity.)
8. If you feel that you are right, but you cannot prove it, you do not have enough arguments, arguments, then you should not start defending and attacking. Admit that you feel you cannot prove that you need to find the right arguments and think. Take a break.
9. Listen to the arguments of the interlocutor, because it is likely that he can dispel some of your doubts, that his experience can be of help to you, that thanks to his point of view, you will be able to look at the situation from a different angle.
Remember that your task is not to argue for the sake of controversy, but to want to be heard, understood and accepted.
And that means you need to proceed with this message!
It happens that people get entangled in eternal disputes, not wanting to listen to another. But they continue to live together, build a family. And I really want to put an end to these disagreements.
It is difficult for two to cope, since each stands on his own, each sees from his side.
At such a moment, it is very important that someone else, independent of the opinions of both, can see what is really happening. I was able to unleash the created situation and help to get out of it. And it would also help to establish a correct dialogue.
You can always contact me with this problem
As a mediator, I can not only unravel your conflict, but also help you build a correct dialogue that will give you understanding of each other and restore peace and tranquility in your family
Best regards, Natalia Trukhina, psychologist, coach
I would be glad if you share your experience in conflict resolution!
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