2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When you come to a psychologist or psychotherapist, then your first words are aimed at describing your own state. Naturally, at first there is a description of the negative aspects of your life. That is, at first you present your complaints. Hence the question:
in general, is it easy for you to complain?
Formally - very easy. You just tell everything that you don't like. Anything that bothers you, oppresses or torments you. And all … the complaints are ready. The benefits of such complaints are very limited. In fact, you are only fulfilling your need for attention (which is good). But the harm is potentially much greater. After repeating complaints over and over again, you, in fact, unwind your state, that is, as if bury yourself in it.
But complaints can be very constructivevery helpful. They become such when you clearly formulate from what (with what) the start of the flow of your inner negativity begins. Such complaints become the starting point for improvements in your life. In this case, it is important for you to follow the following messages.
A) Start-up negative states are those events that lead to frustration, that is, to disappointment that your expectations (realized or not) did not come true
B) starting negative states relate to your interaction with the outside world or yourself
C) triggering states can cause a variety of your internal symptoms (thoughts, emotions, sensations, behavioral changes)
I will give examples of such starting states:
Uncertainty - when you do not know what will happen and whether there will be at all
Expectation - when you cannot fulfill your desire right now
Conflicts - when your desires collide with the desires of other people
Lack of time - when you lack the main resource for the successful realization of your desire
Loss of purpose - when you your desire ceases to be relevant
Criticism - when you and your desires are devalued or belittled
Dissatisfaction with yourself - when you devalue yourself and your desires
Failure - when your effort towards realizing the desire has failed
Mistake - when your decision / individual action towards the realization of desire did not bring you closer to the goal
Impotence - when you do not feel the resource to achieve your desire
Loss of control - when you feel that you are losing influence on the process of realizing your desire
Routine - when the achievement of your desire becomes insipid
Making decisions - when achieving your desire requires taking responsibility
Willpower - when the movement towards your desire requires volitional restraint
What trigger states would you add to this list?
I would be glad if you click the "say thank you" button under the article, it will spur me on to write the next one …
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