2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If we are not in control of our emotions, emotions control us. What does this lead to? Anything. More often - to troubles and problems, especially when it comes to business.
The foundation of emotion management is the awareness of your right to be the author of your states. Your condition depends only on you. Yes, external factors influence and, sometimes extremely powerfully and unambiguously, and nevertheless, we ourselves choose how to react to any external influences.
Make this setting your own: “I am the author of my states and I can do anything. This means that if I cannot do something right now, I can learn it, I am continuously developing and improving."
All four of the following abilities need to be developed. The higher the level of development of these abilities, the better you will be able to manage your emotional states. These abilities are:
1) Reflection (the ability to be aware of your state, to be aware of the reasons, factors and conditions affecting the state). To strengthen reflection, you must learn to ask yourself questions: "What am I doing now and why?", "At what point exactly did my mood change?"
2) Predicting consequences (the ability in the imagination to see the near and distant consequences of their current emotional impulses and actions). As an exercise to develop this ability, try to quickly imagine the consequences of an action in communicating with a person, especially in difficult and emotional situations (prudence). It is equally important to train your ability to predict in general for the long term (foresight). How far you look into your future and the future consequences of your actions. Move the border twice as far and live like this for a while and feel the difference in thinking. And then push it even further.
3) attention management (the ability to control which external or internal images will focus your attention). As an exercise, remember what causes you unequivocally negative emotions, and noticing changes in your state, now, by willpower, switch over and concentrate completely on what causes positive emotions. Do not allow yourself to succumb to the inertia of previous images, remember that it is you who are the author of your state and only you are the master of your attention. If your mind is filled with images of things that are contrary to your core values, and if you cannot focus your attention on the tasks that matter to you, then you will suffer. Or you will ignore what is contrary to your values and lose an adequate perception of reality.
4) Sensitivity (the ability to perceive, feel your state, the state of other people and what is happening in the surrounding world as a whole). A technique called the Emotional State Ruler will help. Draw a long rectangle and imagine this is an emotional state. Ask yourself, "How do I feel?" Having received the answer, select in the rectangle the part occupied by the conscious emotion. Then ask yourself this question again: "What else do I feel?" etc. Divide this strip into parts and sign what emotions and feelings these are. Make the sizes of the parts proportional to the proportions of this or that emotion in your state. If, when analyzing your emotional state, you can name less than seven emotions and feelings you are experiencing now, then you are rather poorly aware of your state. Try to be aware of at least 10-12 elements of your state.
Three lists to help organize your self-development.
- A typical repertoire of my feelings and emotions. 20% of emotions that you experience 80% of the time. (Make a list of 7-10 items)
- A typical repertoire of my actions. 20% of the actions you do 80% of the time.(Make a list of 7-10 items)
- List of basic expectations (from yourself, relatives, colleagues, management …).
The article appeared thanks to the works of Vadim Levkin, Nikolai Kozlov and Nossrat Pezeshkian.
Dmitry Dudalov
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