How School Grades Affect A Child's Self-worth And The Development Of His Personal Potential

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The child is taught to evaluate himself from early childhood …

First, parents, educators, teachers, then, when the child grows up, - the leaders and … in general, all those who need and profitable, in one sense or another.

Assessment is quite manipulative in nature, in my opinion. Generates and develops both constructive and destructive competition.

But this, to some extent, is the nature of external evaluation, and there is also a person's personal attitude to himself, how he values and evaluates himself …

Self-worth is an internal personality phenomenon, a positive connection of a person with his personality, personal resource and potential.

Self-worth, as I see it, is a very strong personal support and help to oneself in various difficult life situations, the ability to value oneself and one's individuality. It is like a positive and friendly “hello” from an “inner child” to a grown up and already psychologically matured adult.

What factors can influence the formation of a child's self-worth?

Initially, the child learns to evaluate himself, mainly through the opinions of people close to him and his environment. Where is it evaluated? At home, in children's and educational institutions.

In school, for example, this happens directly through "grades."

It is clear that each educational culture and system has its own criteria for assessing student success.

Based on my life observations, professional, personal and parental experience, I want to reflect on the question - what role do “assessments” play on the child's personal attitude to himself?

How interconnected is this in general? And how does this phenomenon affect the future life of an adult.

And the relationship is the most direct and direct, I think. If a child is taught to trust and respectfully relate to the opinions of adult authoritative people (teachers), then everything they say to him is, in general, true for him. And almost the ultimate truth …

Therefore, many parents, being in psychological merger with their children, react very sharply to the assessment of their children by external persons, in particular - by teachers and educators …

And they do not take into account the fact that a certain slice of knowledge and skills is assessed, and not all the intellectual abilities and skills of the child. And in no way - not the personality of the child himself.

However, there is a feeling that “good” and “bad” are some kind of cliche that is put on the child. Now he is good or bad, depending on what label he received from the educator / teacher …

It happens that parents come after parental meetings "worked up to the limit" … Without finding out the details of the child, piously believing in the opinion of the teachers, they begin to "fully" educate and morally "kick" their "unlucky" children: they scold, beat, punish, call names, humiliate …

And at the same time they themselves are very acutely experiencing their state of "bad" parent, because they were also assessed negatively in this way, according to their ideas. Therefore, they are directly to blame for the fact that the child is not successful in terms of school criteria and indicators …

Some time passes … and the “unsuccessful” students begin to lose motivation to study, they are no longer interested in studying, and sometimes there is a general fear of “grades” (neurotic tendencies).

Indeed, for negative assessments they will be scolded and severely punished by their parents, depriving them of pleasant things, activities and pleasures …

The most important thing is that something valuable in parent-child relationships is violated: trust, respect, mutual understanding … The child has a lack of confidence in himself and his strength.

The attitude towards teachers, too, subsequently changes not for the better …

The point is not even the assessment received, in principle, but the attitude that it entails on the part of parents, teaching staff, and peers. And this, in the aggregate, leaves an imprint on the reaction of the student himself.

Although, practically, every teacher knows that if a child is “set on fire” from the inside, directed and interested in the subject, then the student himself “will move mountains” … It is desirable in this case - direct and indirect guidance, presence and supervision of the teacher, of course. Of course, the child's abilities are also important …

So what, not reacting to school grades at all?

To react, of course, but with sufficient patience and understanding that assessment in this vein is a rather subjective factor and has nothing to do with the child's unique personality … And perhaps even with his future potentialities in life.

Grades can and even should be discussed with the child, but in order to correct his attitude to the teaching subject. As well as research into which direction it is worth moving in the learning process in general and the personal development of your child in particular.

Any "assessments", in general, can be considered - as an incentive for personal growth and achievements … And react to them as to constructive criticism.

Teachers can also be understood in their own way, because this is their job, and they are real people … They have their own leaders who require reporting on the effectiveness of the learning process and positive results, i.e. again - various "assessments" … Which sometimes gives rise, so to speak, games of exemplary success …

But the qualitative aspect of this indicative issue often suffers from the psychological factor. Sometimes it is precisely behind the striving for successful indicators that they do not see and do not notice the real needs of students.

And at this time in the educational team there is a negative emotional background in the class, unhealthy competition (rivalry), sneering, disrespectful and envious attitude towards more successful students …

Children, in turn, may develop a corresponding negative attitude towards the educational process and the educational institution as a whole. The child's self-esteem decreases, problems of a neurotic nature appear: increased anxiety, onychophagia (biting one's nails), sleep disturbances, depressive states, computer addiction, various kinds of fears and tics …

For children, in addition to even positive assessments, it is important to have an emotionally comfortable environment at school. There they learn to interact with their own kind, cooperate, defend themselves and, in general, develop their emotional intelligence, and not only receive educational knowledge. Which in real life is not at all a fact that everything will come in handy …

The school, in essence, is a springboard for finding oneself as a child and understanding one's personal capabilities in the future … This is the development, first of all, of his abilities, the birth and disclosure of his inner creative potential.

Here it is appropriate, I think, to recall the individual approach, if possible, to each student …

At school, the student “learns to learn”, gains knowledge and skills that will help him in his further life realization. And from the teachers, by and large, and also, of course, from the parents, a lot depends on this issue.

Whether a person wants to explore and cognize this world further, or having reached a certain psychological age in his personal development, he will stop, because at one time he was instilled with a dislike for learning and the cognitive process …

Potentially, the assessment at school for all students cannot be, of course, the same.

If this is an elementary school, then it is not worth evaluating children too strictly and negatively at all, except for praising for their diligence and maintaining interest in them and a desire to learn, and preferably in a playful way.

In middle or high school - assessment is necessary, but only to help and in order to stimulate the student (if he has an interest in this) to a deeper study of the educational material and the development of his abilities and potential.

But these are already questions closer to the professional self-determination of schoolchildren … Although, in the senior grades, and preferably starting from the middle one, I think, more emphasis should be placed on vocational guidance of students.

Then, perhaps, there will be more desire and desire among students to study more deeply school knowledge for themselves and use them in later life, and not only for assessments, external recognition and self-affirmation.

In conclusion, I would like to appeal to parents: do not scold children for grades and difficulties in their studies, support in them even the slightest interest in learning and learning about the world in general! Moreover, regardless of their age …:)

After all, every child is a unique personality with his own individual and unique characteristics, possessing his own invaluable personal resource and potential.

And it largely depends on his immediate environment - whether he will be able to self-actualize in the future and effectively use his personal capabilities.