2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“Make me happy,” sometimes a client request is heard between the lines. And so that immediately and painlessly.
It is not in the power of the psychologist. It's like blowing dust from place to place.
Yes, I can accompany a client to his own happiness. But this path will not only be through beautiful fields and plains. Somewhere there will be rocky terrain, chilling wind in the face, somewhere on the way there will be a hurricane and a storm.
But I will be there, hold tight to the hand.
And on this path you will have to discover a lot of new things in yourself, touch the feelings that are so vulnerable to experience.
And tears. People so often get scared of someone's tears and rejoice when they are not there. And everything should be the other way around!
Crying doesn't hurt. It hurts to swallow tears and pain in yourself, feeling that there is no one around who could let them shed.
Tears are free! Even research shows that stress hormone is released with them. And a large number of elements of such tears can even kill a small rodent.
But not all tears bring relief. There are tears of anger, resentment, joy, or from an onion.
And there are tears of mourning, grief about everything that cannot be changed, sadness and sorrow, acceptance. And these are the tears of transformation.
When they say: "If you cannot change the circumstances, change your attitude towards them." Then it may be precisely because of sadness, sadness or tears crying them out.
You cannot become happy by suppressing all the avalanche of feelings and emotions inside, closing your eyes to them. This is the path to depression and anxiety disorders, at the very least. Loss of the ability to adapt to everything that is wrong, that does not work in this life.
“Happiness is on the other side of tears that we haven't cried yet,” says Canadian psychologist Gordon Newfeld.
Sometimes you want to be eternally happy, trying to brush aside feelings of pain, guilt, shame, sadness, sadness and fear …
But an attempt to escape from them only increases their degree and every day turns into an increasingly heavy bag behind their backs.
Don't dismiss your feelings! Vulnerability is the strength! And that's what Brené Brown is really good at in her TED talk, led by years of research that shocked her. Find and listen.
Allow yourself to touch your vulnerable feelings, pain. If there are too many of them, seek support from a specialist.
But don't run away from them.
Stop! And it may even turn out that happiness is not somewhere out there, but it begins right here by allowing yourself to live what is. And only this leads to liberation, and not all those affirmations that people try to repeat like mantras. Over time, they will begin to drag you even deeper into the abyss. You will fall into the abyss of your despair. And at one point it turns out that you can't fool yourself.
After all, it is impossible to breathe deeply when there is so much in the soul!
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