Are All Men Goats? How Do I Get Rid Of A False Install?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the first years of life, a child forms a certain set of norms, rules, attitudes, beliefs, according to which he plans to live the rest of his life. This unconscious life plan is usually called a life scenario. The formation of the script is completed by the age of 6-7 years.

And then, in the process of life, there is “following” this scenario. For example, the father left the family when the girl was very young. Her mother tried to arrange her personal life, but unsuccessfully. For some reason she had met “wrong” men. Being offended by the entire male population, the mother "infected" her daughter with this offense. Unwittingly, she formed pathological attitudes such as: “you can't trust the peasants,” “they will leave you anyway,” and so on. And the girl, having entered adulthood with such convictions, unconsciously begins to "attract", choose exactly those unworthy men, thereby confirming her scriptural attitudes, perceived from her mother. Such "rake", which the grown-up girl steps on, confirm her belief that "all men are the same."

Practical example. The client's permission to publish has been received. There is a young girl in therapy, let's call her Darina. - I want to change the attitude towards men, to learn to respect them. Darina's parents separated when she was two years old, her mother quickly got married a second time. For ten years Darina called her stepfather a father and sincerely believed that this caring man was her own dad. Then my mother parted with her stepfather. Darina never saw him again. The girl was very worried about the loss of affection, then another disappointment awaited her, she found out the truth about who her real father was. Darina decided that men cannot be trusted, they are unreliable and leave her - first her father, then his stepfather who replaced him. Her own father first appeared in the girl's life when Darina needed his permission to travel abroad. “He will not give permission, he will find many ways to refuse, to mock me,” my mother was indignant in advance. But, the father gave permission. He timidly inquired about how his daughter was doing and began to call her on holidays. Dad lived in another city, worked as a teacher in one of the prestigious universities. He had a different family for a long time. And now Darina is in a therapy group. I propose to the girl to conduct a mini-constellation, for this she chooses from the members of the group of deputies for three roles: herself, her own father, mother. Darina's deputy looks down at her father, narrowing his eyes and twisting his mouth. Disrespect for a man is written on his face.

“I don’t see what I can respect you for,” she says finally. - Can you tell your mother: “Mom, I’m a good daughter, I treat men the same way you do”? - Yes, I have these words very much even respond. Repeats, looking mom in the eyes. The deputy father says angrily: “I do not want to listen to all sorts of nasty things addressed to me. I am ready to give you, daughter, my support. If you don’t take it, well, it’s your choice.” Darina's deputy froze in place from surprise: - Oh, when my father speaks so confidently, I take an interest in him. But, I cannot show this interest. It feels like I have a tattoo on the back of my head: "All men are goats." I can smile at men, but as soon as I turn my back, everyone can see my true attitude towards them. “You don’t have to repeat me in everything,” Mom said casually. - You can treat your father, and indeed all men, as you want. - I would like to remove the tattoo, but I don’t know how to do it. - Maybe you have an idea how this can be done? - I asked. - Would help a wizard who would remove a tattoo with a magic laser. I would be happy about that. - Choose this wizard's deputy. Darina chose a deputy wizard from among the group members, and he "removed" the inscription.- What new installation would you like to replace the old one? - I notice smart men who have realized themselves in society, active. - Where is this facility located? - On the chest. - Look at your father, does he have those qualities that correspond to your new attitude? Darina thought, looked at her father and happily said: "Yes." And her father smiled back at her. Without saying a word, they stepped towards each other and hugged. Darina cried "happy tears" on her father's shoulder, and he, like a child, stroked her head. Mom silently watched this scene from the side.

It is very important to hear YOUR, not the parent's voice, to look at the world with YOUR eyes, to accept YOUR feelings and sensations. Then the scenario changes, we have new ways and opportunities, we notice people with unusual characteristics for us. And this new experience can pleasantly surprise and “register” in our life….