Why Is It Difficult To Part?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If we look at the definition of love in dictionaries, they give such a definition, love is a feeling, deep affection, striving for a person, sympathy.

As a feeling, love inspires us, inspires, fills, spreads throughout the body, like sweet nectar. Feelings of love without attachment to an object are, in fact, not entirely relevant to our partners. To feel any feeling or not is up to us. We either allow ourselves to plunge into the sweet world of love, or we don't. And then, we say how much we are able to love or not. Or we feel love, and we like it very much, but we hide it from the object to which we direct it.

It seems to us that love arises only when we meet our partners, or when communicating with people. At the same time, if you focus on your own feeling of love, you will notice that it is in itself, and only then we direct it to the world around us and to ourselves.

The warmth from love, as from feeling, just supports us during separation, parting, loss. It gives us the strength to overcome a difficult period. Also, against this background, faith and hope are born to meet another person to whom we can again direct our love.

But attachment brings us suffering. When we lose a person, due to attachment, it feels like we have been deprived of something. There may also be some kind of insecurity, nakedness, lack of integrity. This is fine. Being attached to a person is also a certain identification with him, this is living together, creating a world where there are only you two. A person “leaves”, and this world “leaves”. Rather, the space called "relations", created with this particular person (and it will be different with another), is leaving.

However, it is important to understand that attachment is not something bad and terrible. They are often afraid of her. However, this is one of the components of love. It is necessary and present in every relationship. You can hardly find a relationship without attachment.

I draw your attention not to confuse attachment with codependency. These are two different things.

Attachment = "It's hard for me, but I can live without you, I just love you, and that's why I want to be with you."

Codependency = “I cannot live without you, you are my life, my air; I want to be only with you and that's why I love you."

Agree, there is a difference between "I am sad that we are not together" and "I do not know how I can live without you."

Attachment indicates that a person is able to overcome expense or loss. And codependency requires some help, or a person immediately falls into other codependent relationships. When we talk about attachment, we are talking about whole, healthy, adult relationships. With codependency, partners feel their fragmentation, an unhealthy need for something else, immaturity.

Therefore, if you are now in the stage of parting, then use the feeling of love as a resource in going through this difficult period, and attachment as a way to disconnect yourself from your partner and your relationship with him.

But in general, love you for each other and do not be afraid to open up to this wonderful feeling and become attached to your partner.