Successful? Is It Like This?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I will not open America by saying that life is cyclical. Wakefulness and sleep, development and comprehension, health and illness - everything replaces each other. And this applies not only to human life. Ebb and flow occur once a day, spring comes once a year, migratory birds disappear for six months. Even the field stops producing wheat once every three years. Needless to say, social life also has ups and downs? The economy is prone to crises, politics is subject to change. The development of the company goes through a start, takeoff and extinction - to a natural ending or a new takeoff. Relations between people, that friendship, that love, then soar on a wave of interest, then passively move somewhere below, it is not clear why. So is it possible to constantly be successful in this changing world? It depends on what is meant by the word "successful".

In our time, a specific understanding of the word "success" has arisen. From some pies, people decided that success is wealth. Well, yes, of course, it's better to swallow tears on the seat of your own Bentley than in the saddle of your own bike. But money, to put it mildly, is not a panacea. Research has been carried out, and more than once. The result is always the same: ninety percent of people at first firmly affirm: they need money and money to be happy, and a little more, or better, a lot of money. According to research results, those who need money to be successful are no more than ten percent. Usually less. But those who are really happy with money are subject to the general law. Even in pre-crisis times, the Americans Chris Boyes, Gordon Brown and Simon Moore studied and described the phenomenon that it is not income that makes a person successful, but the level of income. In other words, if you have a Bentley, and in the neighboring garages - all rolls, it will not make you happy. The catch in the financial race is that you will only feel successful if everyone around you is significantly poorer than you. Tellingly, you can achieve this - the trouble is big, Bentley, but a new horizon with new consumer opportunities will immediately open before you - and bring all the same excruciating dissatisfaction. Quite frankly, comparing yourself to someone other than yourself in the past is not more productive than dividing by zero. And there, and there, in the end - a bad infinity.

Photo: Vyacheslav Butusov

But, suppose, a miracle happened, you received the desired wealth, became more successful and cooler than all Faberge products, and this really made you happy for a while. After resting on your laurels for a while, you may stumble upon an unpleasant surprise. This is anxiety. Normal people most often express their concerns like this:

- This cannot last long, the crisis will devour everything.

- They'll get ahead of me, there is Ivan Ivanitch - he is a great man, but what have I achieved?

- Women only want money from me.

- I constantly do not have enough time.

- I haven't done what I want for a long time.

And even:

- I don't know what to want now.

And these are already concrete signs of impending failure. And then there's one more thing. For some reason, it is fashionable now to think that successful people do not fall. In Soviet times, a happy worker shone with ecstasy from every tightened nut. In our time, he was replaced by a young white-toothed rich man in a hypomanic state. The crisis trend is an immensely generous supporter who, with a wave of his hand, saves lives and worlds. All three are lying. If they have already entered into a mania, therefore, wait for depression. Recessions, that is, are inevitable.

What to do? Plucking flowers of pleasure while they grow? Selling shifts and forgetting about fears and worries? Of course it is possible. But there are other tactics as well. It would be good to start with a very simple idea. A successful person is not someone who never falls. A successful person is one who knows how to climb. And if you look back at your life, you will see exactly this behind you: a chain of victories and defeats, and many defeats became the basis for even greater victories.

Maxim (let's call him that) came to me in a completely exhausted state. A chain of failures led him to a sense of deep crisis. Yes, in fact, it was he - the problems fell on the person, as if from some kind of evil cornucopia. I suggested to Maxim to stop embracing the immensity, make a list of all current problems and transfer them to the task area, with deadlines and solutions, and then display a schedule of solutions and mark the points passed. It turned out that the number of problems is not that huge, most of them can be solved if you stop panicking and put a little brains and effort. As a result, what at first seemed impossible was realized in about a month. But the schedule continued to live its life. New items appeared on it, often not related to old tasks. It turned out that there are always enough problems in life, and their solution is continuous. But at the same time we also started a list of victories. Over time, it turned out that much of what was recently noted among the problems spilled over into victories. In fact, it was then that Maxim became ready for real changes in his life.

The secret weapon of a successful person is his versatility. Clinging to one thing - whether a career, family, health - we risk losing everything. During a recession in this area, we simply have nothing to rely on. You certainly know about the wheel of success. In any case, it is useful to repeat this exercise from time to time. Please draw an ordinary wheel. It is empty - what to fill? A piece of rubber won't work. Knitting needles. Eight pieces will do. There are empty sectors between them. Write things that are meaningful to you in them. For example: health, finance, career, personal fulfillment, leisure, hobbies, friends, love (family). Now let's check their fullness on a ten-point scale. Our center is zero, the rim of the wheel is ten. The richer a certain area of life, the more it satisfies you, the higher the score. Let's see what happened. Are there holes? The whole wheel will limp on them, especially if a failure occurs in another area. Is the wheel evenly filled, but too small? Will drive slowly, slightly, it may be boring. Did you make a big beautiful circle? Congratulations, you have a successful lifestyle.

It is easy to recognize a successful person by his mood. Regardless of the current state of affairs, it is constructive and focused on problem solving, rather than on painful experiences. A successful person does not live in the past, but he also does not erase it from memory, because the experience gained from defeats is invaluable for further victories. You will not find a successful person hiding in a dark corner until everything resolves by itself. He knows: it doesn't work that way. And he takes full responsibility for his life - from choice to result.

About the choice of a successful person, and indeed about the choice, it would be necessary in more detail, and this will be the topic of the next article.