Psychological Detective (client Case)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This article, born of the Stream, the Knowing field, the Space of options in a meditative state of consciousness. This is not me, it is through me, in this case I was only a receiver and conductor of the information that came to me from the Field with a clear request and the creation of an intention.

Case (case) from my psychotherapeutic practice.

Materials posted with the permission and consent of the client.

All details and names have been changed to maintain confidentiality.

The client is a young girl T.

Request: Difficult relationship with mom, constant conflicts, quarrels, scandals, difficulties in personal life and at work.

Optional: Fear of confined spaces and water.

Then it turns out that all this is closely related to each other.

I always tune in to my client sessions before they start and analyze after. This is not our first meeting.

Likewise, this time, the day before the session, I tuned in to it.

On the border of sleep and wakefulness in the alpha mode of the brain, if you set a specific task, you can read any information from the “Knowing field” and find answers to all questions there, just as you can create and create masterpieces. So that's where I found the technique that I used in the session. It was my improvisation, my work, and it was this technique, as it turned out later, that unraveled the entire tangled tangle of the request and allowed me to find the cause of the problem.

“Logic will take you from point A to point B, and imagination anywhere” Albert Einstein.

Our dialogues:

- Today I want to work with my mother again, I am very stressed by this question, I no longer have the strength, I am tired of all this, I am oppressed by this relationship, I can’t do this anymore.

- What exactly do you want to clarify today in your relationship with your mom?

“I don’t know anymore, I’m confused… I just want to make it easier for me.

And here I suggested the following:

- Please write the first 10 associations with the word mom.

(already such a task caused strong resistance from the client due to the charge of these relations).

- And after you finish, combine the adjacent words into one and so on until one word remains.

- I did it, I got the word "panic"

- Describe this panic, what is it about for you? How does this word make you feel?

- This is anxiety, I'm scared, I want shrink and hide (a direct hint to work with instincts).

Next, we worked with the deck metaphorical cards "Portals".

This extraordinary deck was awarded the 2nd degree laureate diploma in the First International Prize "Golden Metaphor - 2016" in the nomination "The best abstract deck of the IAC"

Ideal for working with the subconscious and in particular in working with dreams.

- Please take out the card that symbolizes this state panic, anxiety and fear.

Then I applied the "Rendering" technique, ie. the map is placed in the center of A4 sheet and drawn to the full picture.

Here's what came of it:

This is a direct access to the unconscious part, this is where all the "monsters" live.

- What did you do, describe your picture.

- This is a closed space, water, fish, darkness, crampedness, emptiness, emotions - fear, anxiety, excitement, there is some kind of monster or a monster and this causes a strong panic.

Thus, I combined the technique that I considered from the Field and the one that I knew, in the end I got a synergy effect, and such that I myself did not expect.

Psychotherapy is a creative and unpredictable process in which there is no and cannot be any scheme, because every person is unique

The main thing is to be in agreement and trust with this Stream!

- Does this state remind you of anything?

- It can't be, this is what I am in the womb???

-Do you know something about your mother's pregnancy?

- Yes, there was one case, my mother told me that at the age of 9 months they had a very strong fight with her husband (the client's father) and throughout their pregnancy they practically had continuous quarrels and scandals, a feeling of hatred and anger was always there.

And it was here that I got the whole puzzle!

- Do you now yourself understand where you "got infected" with these emotions and how it influenced your future life?

- I could not even think before that the reason lies so deep …

This was not the first meeting with a client, so I knew some more details, but today's information was not enough for a complete picture.

For several sessions, I carefully and scrupulously collected this puzzle bit by bit, and now it happened, the picture is ready!

Everything fell into place!

And now for the decryption

Mom felt anger, hatred for her father throughout the pregnancy, and especially vividly at 9 months. The child, being in the womb, “counted” all these emotions and took over. Only this is not his burden, these are not his feelings, but he is forced to carry them in himself because of his loyalty to his mother. These feelings are at first background and do not manifest themselves, but as they grow up, they leave the background and become a figure, and now the daughter comes across such men that she is forced to be angry with them and "play out" her mother's program, thus living part of her life for her … And the world generously throws up such situations from each side.

After the divorce from her husband, when the daughter was small, the daughter subconsciously had a feeling of guilt, because now a heavy burden falls on the shoulders of the mother and, among other things, she needs to take care of her daughter.

At first this guilt is not recognized, but then it also comes out of the background and becomes a figure.

Guilt for allegedly doing something wrong. But this is just the tip of the iceberg!

The feeling of guilt leads to the desire to be guilty and punished - unconsciously, and the universe immediately throws up such situations in order to punish - difficulties begin at work, in personal life, she got into an accident and crashed a car. Thus, a person subconsciously punishes himself in such a way.

Further:

What will a person subconsciously experience when he feels guilty before someone?

He will hate him! Again, unconsciously!

After all, that person made him feel guilty, and this is a very uncomfortable state and there is a desire to take revenge on the offender!

This closed cauldron of anger will begin to warm up slowly and gradually and sooner or later the water will boil, the cauldron will burst and all the anger will pour out (the figure will come out of the background - see Gestalt therapy).

And naturally, in such a state it is impossible to tell your mother that you love her, but where there is, if there are no scandals, it's already good).

This is the tip of the iceberg, the very symptom with which they come for consultation, the basis of this iceberg lies deep in the subconscious, in this case, this is the period of intrauterine development).

Therefore, the very cause of any problem is never in the realm of awareness. With the right tools, you can access it and find the root pain!

What does mom feel in such a situation?

1) she has unexpressed aggression towards her husband (towards the client's father)

2) this anger was passed on to the daughter at birth.

What does she then experience unconsciously?

Too Blame!

Deep, subconscious, unconscious guilt for passing this burden on to your child! And it was not meant for her, the addressee is different!

The mechanism is the same: there is guilt, therefore, there will be anger!

Hence - mutual nagging, hyper control, overprotection, quarrels and scandals! Classic!

Mom would be glad to show love in its purest form, but she cannot do this, because she is unable to resist the powerful "viruses" in her subconscious in the form of a sense of guilt. And you have to show love in a crooked way - through reproaches and quarrels, and the world again goes to meet her, throwing various provocations on her.

"No influence on a person can be more intrusive and predetermining than that which he is not aware of" Otto Kernberg.

Here is the 1st chain of deep psychotherapy for my daughter:

Mom → 10 associations → panic → Portals → drawing → fear of enclosed space, water, fear, darkness, stiffness, obstacle, excitement → mother's womb → anger, irritation, stiffness, fear → loyalty to mom (feelings are not your own, part of life is not your own) → guilt → a desire to be punished → difficulties at work, in personal life → anger at mom → scandals.

2 mom's chain:

Unexpressed anger → transfer of part of the “load” to the daughter → guilt → anger → nagging, hyper control → quarrels with the daughter.

The circle is complete! Everyone is happy, crookedly satisfying their needs!

The work of a psychologist is the work of a detective and a sapper rolled into one

First, the "detective", traveling in the back streets of the unconscious, finds the very "time bomb", and then the "sapper" disarms it, cutting the red and wet lines of suffering

But that is not all!

In the biography of my mother, there was such an event as abortion.

In this case, the next child already feels unsafe in the womb, fear becomes background, there is a threat to life, and this already causes the very panicthat was in the associations (see above), plus all those negative emotions that the fetus felt during the quarrels between the mother and father were added.

What happens next?

Formed interweaving, i.e. part of the fate of that unborn is taken over by the next newborn and is partly not living its own life.

The emotion of anger is transmitted from the aborted to the living, and for him it becomes the background! Such an unconscious hatred of the mother from birth. And this feeling has no place, so it is everywhere at every moment of time, "smeared" throughout her life. And then the slightest irritant at the preschool age was imprinted in the mind as a psychological trauma, and then there was no strength to resist!

It's like a trigger, a button to start a reaction - as soon as the image of mom appears, 2 programs are unconsciously turned on (like a computer with viruses):

"Acting out" not their emotions intended for the father and revenge for the aborted sibling in the form of unconscious anger.

These are very deep mechanisms!

And these "viruses" are stronger than the installed programs, they simply do not allow you to perform conscious actions, it is a kind of veil in front of your eyes, a barrier that blocks the path to the development of happy relationships not only with your mother, but also with the opposite sex and makes life difficult in general.

Bert Hellinger said: "Success has the face of a mother."

And until you close all your unfinished gestalts with your mom, then you will not see success as your ears!

With this you can and should work on personal therapy!

The main thing is to find the reason, the rest is a matter of technology!

Ancient Slavic wisdom:

This third can be a person or some forgotten event in the life of the conflicting people or even an earlier event in the generic system.

"Any pain can be a source of strength if you find a way to grow through it" Tony Robbins.

Solutions (tasks for personal therapy):

• Working with an aborted person. Burn out, live, let go, accept, give a place in your heart. Remove interweaving and share destinies. There is a special ritual! Forgive my mom for this.
• Express all emotions to the address, i.e. mother to father. You can work through the "phenomenon of substitutional perception", i.e. do it without the presence of mom. Metaphorical Associative Cards (MAC) make it easy!
• For mom, transform the feeling of guilt into unconditional love and acceptance (then all nagging and hyper control will simply disappear as unnecessary, since now you can express your feelings directly). The same is done through the MAC and the "phenomenon of substitutional perception" without the presence of the mother.
• Transform your daughter's feelings of guilt into gratitude for life, care and love! Let go of negative charges from all traumatic situations, make them only Experience! Replace minus with plus! Carry out the remodeling of situations!
• Working with instincts (a situation of panic in the womb, fear of water and confined space) through gratitude. There are special techniques!
• Extract resources from all these situations, thank, let go, form new beliefs and new behaviors!
• Go "create" in accordance with new patterns of behavior and live happily in this world!

To unwind such a tangle, it took several intense meetings, and they were all conducted with the help of the MAC, opening layer after layer until the root cause of the pain was discovered!

MAC is an ingenious psychotherapy tool that allowed you to get to the very core!

And without working out these key pain points, it is impossible to move forward in therapy. Therefore, for 1, 5 years, she went to personal therapy before that and never got off the ground.

It’s like trying to sail out of the harbor, but not to raise the anchor, such a ship will not budge.

Therefore, there are many cases when clients are disappointed in personal therapy, because the work goes "to the top", not everyone will "dig" so deeply and will constantly give "analgin" from its "splinter". Isn't it easier to pull out the splinter?

Good insights to you!