2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Narcissistic abuse * is dangerous for its invisibility, ambiguity, veiledness. It is no less harmful than the physical one. Because in essence it is a form of spiritual rape. And the result of such latent moral torture is unambiguous: over time, the victim becomes unsure of himself and his actions, is completely lost in life; her self-esteem falls, her personality is destroyed, her health goes away.
The narcissist appears to those around him charismatic and unusually sweet. Or, at least, he really wants to seem so. He constantly wears a mask and stands on tiptoe, pretending to be someone he really is not. And he projects his true negative qualities onto the victim. And constantly exposes her to moral violence.
⚠But there are situations in which the narcissistic person also uses physical strength.
Quiet, imperceptible, gradually destroying the victim, the abuse becomes "loud" when someone rips off the mask from the narcissist and says to him: "You are lying. It was not. Here are the facts that say the opposite. Why are you doing this?"
When the mask flies, narcissistic anger manifests itself. The abuser has absolutely no control over emotions, randomly throws some phrases [verbal okroshka], speaks nonsense, lies and shouts even more. Due to impotence and unsuccessful attempts to "hold the face" can hit.
He is exposed, his fantasy reality collapses and a sand castle crumbles. At such a moment, the narcissist falls into the wildest despair due to the fact that he is completely out of control of himself. At these moments he is very dangerous and can show his aggression by physically hitting or even beating the victim.
❗ All this happens unconsciously and very quickly.
If you are around a narcissist, remember that there can be no constructive communication with him. Either he's right, or narcissistic anger will descend on you! It is impossible to agree with him and find a compromise, it is pointless to try to express your opinion or feelings. He is unable to hear you. Such a relationship will always be destructive for you.
Take care of yourself. Distance yourself.
* Abusive relationship (from the English abusive relationships - dependent relationships, derogatory relationships) - relationships in which a partner violates the personal boundaries of another person, humiliates, allows cruelty in communication and actions in order to suppress the will of the victim. In this type of relationship, the victim and the aggressor do not change places; the victim, for some reason, cannot get out of this relationship.
Both a man and a woman can act as an abuser, one of the differences is that each of them has a negative impact on his partner in different ways. Men are more likely to use physical and sexual violence than women.
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