How I Learned To Support Myself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

For a very long time, I lived with the feeling that I was not good enough. That I am somehow not so successful. That I am somehow not so capable. That somehow I can't do everything that I would like.

And the more I thought that I was somehow different, the worse it became emotionally. Constant dissatisfaction with myself took away all my strength. And there were no other things left for them.

Everything changed when I decided to try to notice not what I was failing. And to notice what is already happening, what I can already, what I have learned.

And I began to notice this, paying attention to even the smallest little things that I did.

How did I start doing this?

Every evening before going to bed, I looked over the past day in my mind and remembered what I had done today. And she said it on a dictaphone.

I noticed all the things that I managed to do. “Have you prepared a meal? Well done!". Did you go for groceries? Well done!" “Have you talked to your friend? Well done!" “Did you do something new, even a small step towards something that didn't work before? Well done!" And she praised herself for all this, saying: “Well done, today you did it. Until recently, you could not do it, but today you did it. I'm happy with it!"

If something didn't work out the way I would like, then I learned to support myself, saying to myself: “Yes, it didn't work out. It's a pity. I'm upset. But I believe in you. I believe that you can move in small steps. That now something has not worked out and this is an experience. It can be taken into account for the future. And if you continue to do further, then the result will certainly be. Do the best you can. The main thing is to do it!"

And so, thanks to this support of myself, it became easier for me to cope with various difficult cases. That which at first did not work out and seemed unattainable, was gradually realized.

Thanks to the fact that I pronounced everything on the recorder and found something good that I was able to do, I began to sleep more peacefully. And in my life there was more joy and harmony in my soul. I became more joyful. And it became easier for me to relate to failure and cope with difficulties.

I am convinced that it is also important to support a child, believing in him and emphasizing what he is already doing. Compare his successes and achievements with those that were before.

In this regard, I remember how a few years ago I read somewhere a story about a mother who, while checking the notebooks of a first-grader daughter, outlined with a green pen those letters that her daughter was able to write well. And so, focusing the daughter's attention on what she is already able to write well, the mother helped her daughter develop her skills. And very soon the daughter herself mastered both writing and everything else. She did not need to be persuaded to do her homework, she did them herself with interest and joy.

Then, reading this story, I just admired the fact that "everything is simple genius." And I felt a great disappointment that everything was done wrong in our school system and in raising children in general. At school, the focus is on mistakes, not on what is already good. And this, in my opinion, greatly prevents children from learning with interest and joy.

This post on the green pen was also one of the important building blocks in building the foundation for my self-support.

Sometimes I did not record my day on a tape recorder, and then I noticed how my energy and faith in myself fell, my joy became less. It's just that all my childhood I heard only criticism and dissatisfaction from my parents, so you can fall into this state of dissatisfaction with yourself very quickly, this is very familiar to me. Therefore, in order to live in support of oneself, it was necessary and still has to consciously focus on this all the time. Probably, that time, until all the neurons of the network are rearranged in such a way that my thoughts will be exclusively in a positive mood towards myself. I don't know, maybe this will never happen. I am ready to support myself all my life by saying everything on the recorder before going to bed. And I want to do it because it helps me cope with difficulties. Therefore, it is very important for me to support myself.

How did I come to the conclusion which words are important for me to say to myself?

At first, I began to learn to support myself, noticing WHAT SUPPORT I would like to receive from loved ones. I asked myself: “What would I like to hear from a loved one now? So that he HOW to support me? WHAT WORDS would support me now? And the answer was found. I noticed what words I would like to hear. I told myself them.

And so I can support myself not only before going to bed, but in any unpleasant situation.

And this does not mean that I cannot seek support from other people, close and loved ones. I also turn to them for support. And yet I am sure that self-support, faith in oneself is the basis of harmony in the soul, this is the basis for any changes.

Precisely not to spread rot on yourself, not criticize, not scold: “How could you ?! You haven't done honey agaric! You can't do anything! and not say other criticisms.

And to support myself, with faith in myself, in my strength, in my potential helps me to go through life my own way. Albeit not simple, but the way that it is interesting and inspiring for me to go!

WHAT do you think about it?