2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Physiological "volcano" of a teenager
In adolescence, there is a sharp growth in all body systems. Bones, internal organs, skin grow - the guys are pulled up. The appearance changes - children turn into beautiful boys and girls. And inside: either as an adult or as a child. Such waves are inherent in adolescents.
The hormonal system puffs and injects "boiling-boiling" hormones into the blood.
Imagine a 2-storey building that was rebuilt into a 10-storey modern high-rise building in a few months. How many resources are needed to strengthen the foundation in such a short time, complete 8 floors, and provide the house with internal communal infrastructure. In architecture, this is impossible - the old house is demolished and a new one is built.
And in Nature it is possible. The most complex processes are seething in a growing person. Sometimes it is not easy to withstand both the parents and the teenager himself.
Hot lava flows through the veins
The conflict between fathers and children is an eternal theme.
The teenager is disappointed in his parents, is insolent and rebellious. He rushes into adolescence in search of new authorities.
Sometimes it seems to parents that there is no human strength to withstand. Someone chooses the tactics to withstand, gritting their teeth, forcing themselves.
There is such a thing as boundaries - these are your interests, your life. It is important to protect your own borders even from children.
Modern adolescents excel at breaking parental boundaries when they need to.
At the same time, they masterly defend their own boundaries - they flare up with righteous anger when limited, demanding respect for their own personality. Of course, when you restrict a teenager, you exercise power over him. And with a growing child, it is important to find a common language and negotiate. Although there will certainly be restrictions.
Also, adolescents know how to isolate their parents from their lives: "Mom, don't bother, this is my life and friends." And in a rude form: "Mom, it's none of your business - leave me alone."
Borders helps to defend Aggression. Don't assume that healthy aggression will ruin the relationship you have built with your child for many years. There are 2 types of aggression: Destructive and Constructive.
When we endure, anger accumulates in the soul and at the most inopportune moment flies out in the form of screams, screams, hysteria. It is destructive aggression that undermines emotional ties. Infinite angelic patience leads to Destructive aggression.
With Constructive Aggression - declare to a presumptuous child what exactly you do not like, that it is painful, offensive and unpleasant for you to hear. You start to defend your borders, increase your distance a little and carefully put the child in place.
“My uncle had the most honest rules, when he got seriously ill, he forced himself to respect and could not invent better” (Pushkin).
I talked about some of the features of adolescence. Do you know them?
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