Difficulties Of Growing Up Or How To Help A "negligent" Student

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The reason for seeking help from a psychologist arises at any stage of life, at any time of the year. But still, there are topics that can be conventionally called "seasonal". One of them is difficulties in the relationship with the child and anxiety about the unsatisfactory state. in connection with the beginning of training. In the autumn period, I am often approached by "freshly baked" students, as well as their parents, since I work with adults.

When the school period ends and the "nightmare" associated with the graduation and entrance exams of a boy or girl ends, the whole family breathes a sigh of relief. Each family member expects to be able to finally, with peace of mind, go about their business. However, for many families, the period of relative dormancy never comes.

In this article, I will not, as usual, explain everything in detail. I wanted to express all the conclusions based on my own work practice in the form of a list or memo to the parent of the "yesterday" student.

1. Your child has not yet become an adult, because emotionally and financially depends on a parent or parents.
2. He, just like you (to a greater extent), spent a lot of physical and emotional strength to complete the period of schooling (even if this is not at all visible in his behavior).
3. The period of adaptation to new conditions requires huge additional energy costs from any person (remember yourself).
4. Even while demonstrating the need for independence, the growing up person desperately needs the help and support of his family.
5. By showing interest outside, both you and your child gain support in your own family.
6. If you are turned away from the child, he will turn you around, unconsciously drawing your attention to himself through bad behavior and pain.
7. Apathy for studies, soreness indicate serious internal contradictions, fear and self-doubt, which is felt as a lack of vitality and strength. Laziness is only a social concept. Its reasons are always deep.
8. Separating from you, the young man seeks outside attachment and at the same time shares attachment with you.
9. Do not discount the young person's experiences, no matter what they concern.
10. The adaptation period necessarily passes, and the state levels out over time.
11. The true reasons for your dissatisfied state are always in yourself, or rather in your life experience, and not in your child. With the child, dissatisfaction only manifests itself or is felt much sharper.
12. Feeling dissatisfaction and strong irritation towards the growing up child, try to improve your personal state (the help of a psychologist is one of the possibilities). This will greatly contribute to the emotional closeness that both parties need.
13. Aggressive or sharply negative attitude towards the weaker in the family (younger children or older family members) is evidence of attention deficit and doubts about parental love.
14. Do not deny the help for the family from the growing child. It is important for everyone to feel their significance and value for those close to them.
15. Never doubt your unconditional love for your child.
16. Never doubt your child's unconditional (regardless of behavior) love for you - his parent!

All of the above applies to a greater extent to those young people who, after graduating from high school, remain in their family and their native village. For those who left, the situation unfolds in a slightly different direction, however, many aspects can be traced there as well.