Turning Points

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I do not stop mentally thanking the teachers who once put the basics of the profession into our recalcitrant heads. In particular, a list of important issues that should definitely be clarified with the client at the first consultation. Among these "most important" questions was a question that invariably annoyed me during my studies. It sounds something like this: "Tell me, why did you go to a psychologist right now?"

This question surprised me with its naivety. It would seem, well, why bother a person?.. He came - and good. He was tired of everything. Or not all, but some - especially. I realized that this was no longer the case, and that something had to be changed. It is clear that the problems have been accumulating for a long time - so what does the short moment when the last drop fell into the cup decides?

It turned out - this is one of the most important questions in general, not only at the first meeting.

Usually, clients come to the story themselves during the story. And it is important to emphasize this topic. Because at this turning point: “And then I realized that it’s impossible to go on like this,” - there are almost half of the answers to all pressing questions.

How do you understand? Why did you understand? What happened that made you reconsider the last few years, or even decades of life?.

These are difficult events: for example, a child died from a distant relative. And so a person stands at the funeral and thinks: damn it, we have nothing at all, and it always ends unexpectedly. It seems like a self-evident fact. But who remembers him every day, when he goes to work in the morning and from work in the evening … And time goes on. And now someone's coffin is covered with earth, and this is someone twice your age.

And if tomorrow it will be you - then what? What will you leave with, what will you leave? And then a person starts to panic, because he understands: he will leave with nothing, and will not leave anything. At least nothing that he would like. This point of extreme disappointment in yourself and in life is very important, albeit scary. You can build on it for further work.

There are turning points of some kind at first glance … insignificant. “I came to work, and there on my table someone poured a puddle of tea and did not wipe it off. And I told them this: guys, well, damn it, wipe it down, or something, behind you. And all eyes are averted. And then I suddenly burst out. Shouted for about five minutes, still ashamed. Although, you know, no … Not ashamed. " - "And what were you shouting about?" - "Yes, about the fact that you can't treat people like that. And that everything in this office got to me. And that I have the feeling that I'm here just endlessly wiping everything up. And that's not why I received my diploma."

Of course, this is not about a puddle of tea, but rather about "endless wiping after everyone," or about the fact that "everything in this office has gotten enough." And maybe not only in her. The secret is that the client knows this better than any consultant - you just need to highlight this area for him, focus his attention.

And there are sudden moments of happiness. When you pulled yourself a strap, quietly, without standing out, like everyone else, and seemed to have already got used to it. And then suddenly he swallowed some other life. Not for long. Maybe for a week or even a couple of days. But going back after that seemed impossible. Because you remembered what it is - your real life. It can be a vacation, or a business trip to another city, or just one evening in an interesting company, where no one puts pressure on a person and where he met like-minded people.

- It seems that we just drank tea together. But over the past year, these have been the best three hours of my life. No one is sarcastic, not teasing, they listen attentively. I see that they are interested in me by myself: my thoughts, my opinion. And they are interesting to me. And the cafe is beautiful, it looks like an Indian temple.

Yeah. If a person has previously wondered what he lacks for happiness, you can write down literally. "An environment where no one competes. Interesting people. A beautiful place." It looks very different in plan view, right?

And then you can sit down and think. Do I need to change my social circle? Where to get interesting people from? Is the place where I live beautiful?.. Does it look like a temple, or rather a barn? Etc.

I have all this for what. Be mindful of turning points in your life. Do not overshoot them at high speed. Slow down. Take a look around. Perhaps this is a twist to something very important.