The Crisis Of The Meaning Of Life. A Turning Point In The Lives Of 35-45 Year Olds

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Reading the works of E. Erickson, I come across his description of the existential crisis in people. It seems that a person lives, but he has no meaning in life. Or it seems there is a meaning in life, but only a person sees that this meaning is not his. About 100 years have passed since that famous author wrote about this phenomenon. But have his books lost their meaning due to the statute of limitations? Has his phrase lost its relevance: "In the social jungle of human existence, there is no point in living without a sense of identity."

It is clear that there have been no statistics since then. And how can one determine how many percent of the population have lost the meaning of life? Try it, ask people around you! How many will say that they do not see the meaning of life? I think that not many will do it. It is not accepted in society to talk about this. Even at a one-on-one consultation with a psychologist, they don't really talk about it. Well, at least until trust is built up. And this is usually not the first consultation. And this despite the fact that often the question of this is the main thing that led to the psychologist.

Maybe in order to understand how many people have a meaning in life, you need to ask them a question like: "What is your meaning in life?" Maybe those who have a problem with the meaning of life will not get confused and admit that they are somehow lost in this world? Nah! I don't think it will help either. It's just that people will start talking en masse about the typical meanings of life, taken to describe in such a case. They will tell you that they live for the sake of children, for the sake of their parents. They will tell you that you need to pay off a mortgage, a loan for a car, that there is a new project at work, and there is no way without them …

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Everything seems to sound right and it seems like a person has a meaning in life, even "the correct meaning of life"! But is it just about the children and the parents? In cars or apartments, jobs and part-time jobs? Often, with these socially acceptable phrases, a person only covers up his spiritual emptiness.

And if a person does not have something for which he would like to live in his own life, then sometimes a person feels that he does not live at all! Remember that quote by E. Erickson above, "In the social jungle of human existence, there is no point in living without a sense of identity"? You can hide from others for a very long time, and first of all, of course, from yourself, your lack of meaning in life. It's not even difficult to do as long as there are these same children, parents, mortgages and so on, so on, so on. But it doesn't last forever, does it?

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Children grow up, parents die, they can be fired from work. But when this happens, all the factors of the crisis of the meaning of life come to the fore. Here it is already impossible to hide behind external candy wrappers of success. Here it becomes bad inside, bad and even worse …

It becomes especially bad if there are already not enough resources. If health has already become bad, if age no longer implies the strength that was at 25. As a rule, children grow up when a person is already over 40 and over 45. And before that time there were many, many years of active imitation a life filled with meaning.

35-45 years old is a special age, a special period in life.

The time when the strength seems to be enough, but often not enough to lead the old way of life.

The time when it seems that health is in full swing, but in reality the first, but not the first serious problems already appear.

The time when it seems that children are still small, and children have not counted for so long!

The time when it seems that marriage is unshakable, have we been together for so many years? And in fact, often in this marriage there has been a crack for a long time.

The time when a person often "grew" from the position in which he was an active young employee, but another position may not be offered. Or they may even "ask" him to do this job.

After all, the time when a person can understand that he has been going in the wrong direction for so long! And the strength for another path may already be gone …

In addition, and in fairness, I note that before this age there could be no imitation of a happy life at all, there could be a happy life. But some of the meanings is available only to those who have passed 30 years, to those who are over 37, 45 years old. Until this age, it is difficult to guess some of the meanings. Many things that seem obvious at 35-45 are not even seen at 25!

What do our fellow citizens usually do here, faced with such a crisis of meanings in their lives? NS! There can be a lot of "cool" options!

Sometimes alcohol comes to someone's aid.

Sometimes they are looking for salvation in a mistress, a lover (atoms and mistresses, lovers).

Still, of course, you can directly tackle the life of long-matured children.

You can gather friends and girlfriends at one table. With a full stomach, it is difficult to think about the meaning of life.

You can also think about renovating the house when it is not really needed, take up the life of your parents when it is really not needed, there are many, many other very "correct" options for imitating a life filled with meaning. And all of these options have their downsides.

Yes, alcohol will take away some of the experiences, while creating even more experiences of a different type, and not only from the one whose "friend is now alcohol", but also from many people around him. Even when they don't drink with him, even when they can't drink with him. With a mistress or lover, more likely not harmony will come to life, but an even greater discord. With excess food that distracts from problems, excess weight will come, which will create even more problems. And maybe not only overweight, but also diabetes and hypertension. Then there will be a sea of problems! Matured children may not appreciate the interference in their life and contact with them may be lost forever!

So it turns out that this is not solving problems at all, but creating problems for yourself and others. Moreover. Creating a sea of problems for yourself and others!

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What is the way out of this situation? And what is the way out ?! I just want to exclaim here.

Of course, the best way out is to avoid this situation as much as possible. It is about turning to testing your value-semantic sphere, not only when everything has become bad, but about examining oneself on the subject, and why I live, on a regular basis. You don’t need to do this every day, you don’t need to do it every week. Once a year, or once every few years, give yourself time to analyze, rethink what is happening to you now, what will happen to you next.

When the age of 35-45 is approaching, it's time to do a "general cleaning", "grandiose inventory" in your life. Recall. What is it all for? To ask a question, what will it be like for me when my children, parents, and many friends leave my life? What am I left with? Am I with that person now?

You should definitely not give up everything and go into another life, other relationships simply because everything is different there. In another way, it does not mean yours. Another, it is, another. This is an internal work that can be difficult to do from habit.

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Everyone can do it himself, but it is difficult to do a deep mental activity while in a crisis. And here deep work with a psychologist can be very helpful. This is no longer work aimed at solving one local problem in life, it is a deep work on understanding oneself, understanding one's path, one's meanings.

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