Patient Story With Bulimia

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

She was still quite a child with thin legs.

and an old, old soul.

A soul that was forcibly forced to get used to her body, as a new, not quite adult god, who himself does not yet understand the language of the prayers addressed to him.

God, who has yet to learn to speak …

Milorad Pavic.

"Inner side of the wind"

When Katya turned to me for help, she was 17 years old, 2 years of which Katya was ill with bulimia. For 2 years she tried to cope with this disease on her own….

Katya tried to be strong for 2 years …

Then Katya will remember that her dad once taught this. Be strong …

Seeking help from a specialist was a difficult decision for her. It was a sign of weakness for her …

“I came because I realized that I could not cope on my own,” she said, almost in a whisper to me, lowering her eyes. …

I remember how bitter and ashamed she was to admit her illness and her powerlessness in front of him … And this was the real manifestation of her courage and inner strength …

It amazed me …

At the time of asking for help, Katya had no friends, there was no young man and there was no joy in life. But she studied at the institute in a profession that she hated, a friend in the dorm room, with whom there were conflicts and the parental family, in which they believed that Katya's problems were complete nonsense. The only close person for Katya was her older sister, who at least I sincerely wanted to help Katya, but did not know how …

And Katya didn't know that either …

It all started imperceptibly. After parting with a young man who soon married another girl, Katya once decided that it would be nice to lose weight.

“I decided to prove something to myself,” she said. With this decision, physical activity and diet appeared in Katya's life. The weight was not falling fast enough. Having reached the desired figure, the weight after some time again grew in the direction of increasing. Katino's discontent grew. The diets have become more rigid, even brutal. Disruptions appeared. After another bout of gluttony, the fear of getting fat intensified, then Katya found a way out - vomiting. And after vomiting - self-loathing for the shown weakness …

She had to be strong! Depression, tougher restrictions on food, increased physical activity … Breakdown … And so on in a circle …

Her body could not stand such an attitude. Weakness, dehydration, problems with blood pressure, etc. appeared. In addition, menstruation stopped, and the depressive state became more and more habitual …

The weight didn't go away. Hatred for herself and her body grew for the fact that it did not "want" to become what Katya wanted to see him. In Katya's life, a lot demanded her attention (the situation with her studies, social contacts, personal life, etc.), but it seemed to Katya that “everything will be”, “everything will come” together with the achievement of the desired figure on the scales. And she didn’t have time to think about what to do with all these difficulties in her life, all her mental strengths were aimed at gaining the desired physical form. And, it should be noted that Katya's forms were fabulous …

Soft breasts and rounded (hated by her) hips, which looked very tempting with her thin waist … A girl with a guitar figure … All this was complemented by light smooth skin and wheat-colored hair … The dream of a man who knows a lot about women …

But Katya did not notice this in herself. I'm not used to it. He was not good enough. Always. In everything. For all. So she was taught from childhood. Shame and guilt were familiar to her. But the feeling of accepting oneself, allowing oneself to be weak, receiving pleasure from oneself and from life - this Katya did not know or did not remember. With her constitution, her natural gorgeous physique, achieving the standard parameters she desired (90-60-90) was almost impossible … It was a crime against her nature! It was different in its natural architecture … Even if at the cost of titanic efforts and irreplaceableharm to her health, Katya would have reached these parameters, it would not have been Katya … Without a highlight, without her uniqueness … Standard, deeply unhappy in her soul … Elegant form with sick content …

Our work with Katya lasted 2, 5 months. Katya worked hard. She learned a new attitude towards herself, an understanding of herself. She learned to accept herself, listen to and respect her body, learned to live with it. With myself. Imperfect, imperfect. I learned to love myself like that. To her surprise, it turned out that there was a reason … She learned to find a balance, to combine and retain in herself what she had rejected before, expelled from herself … What she wanted to connect with and could not … "Swatted" … Since it was unbearable … She did a great and difficult job. It was difficult for her. Many times she wanted to end therapy, habitually devalue and "regurgitate" … But she remained in a therapeutic relationship, held on and "digested" her discoveries … She learned to symbolically fill, assimilate and accept without worrying about losing her "form" … Content became important … She learned to appreciate him …

Perhaps I will disappoint some, but Katya has not lost weight. Other, more important, changes took place in her life. In such a short time, Katya has achieved tremendous success. The disease went away, the problems with women's health disappeared. Her body began to respond with gratitude. Katya developed new hobbies and activities, made wonderful friends, and began to improve her personal life. Her relationship with her parents changed for the better. She changed her hair and began to revise her wardrobe. Her attitude towards life and towards herself became positive. “Life has become interesting! A beautiful body is a healthy body! - she will say at the end of therapy. She left the institute from the faculty, which she hated, and to prepare for admission to a new specialty. And I have no doubt that she will succeed …

You will succeed too … Believe me … Choose a specialist and ask for help.

With her consent, I publish the text of her letter to my body. He's here:

“My dear, beloved and only body! I want to ask your forgiveness for all the torture you have undergone over the past 2 years. I tried to drive you into the general standards of beauty, not realizing that you are special. And you and I are different from the general mass. Yes, we will never get "ideal" forms (90-60-90), but is it necessary?

For almost 2 years I frankly mocked you. Eternal dietary restrictions, sometimes turning into hunger strikes, hours of physical activity were not in vain. You could not stand it and began to signal a lack of nutrients, about the depletion of resources. But I stubbornly ignored your signals, for which I paid. It was already hard for you, and I also began to absorb huge amounts of food. And then … You yourself know what procedure followed this "holiday". Forgive me one more time.

I want to promise you that this whole nightmare won't happen again. I am learning to listen to you, to take into account your desires and needs. It doesn't always work out, but I try. And you know it.

I believe that we can handle it. After all, we are one. We cannot exist without each other. And you are the external reflection of my inner world. And first of all, together we will put in order the inner world, psyche, establish nutrition, restore metabolic processes, regulate the intensity of physical activity.

We learn to live in harmony with each other. And we will succeed!

Katya's drawing

Let's forget about the constant dissatisfaction with you, your appearance. It was an unconscious criticism of their inner mental problems, situations, conflicts. Let's put all our old troubles in the past.

We are starting a new life!"