Big Problems For Young Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

We are used to talking about childhood as the happiest and most carefree time in life, because houses seem huge, clouds running across the sky are fascinating, and a sparrow bathing in dust is almost a miracle. But besides the gaze of adults, there is also a child's one, which remains in memories for a long time, but is formed into words only with age

And along with the memories of daily games, hikes and a touch of carelessness in the sessions, not at all joyful echoes of childhood often emerge. Let's not talk about those children who are small now, but about those who were them in the 70s and 80s and about the children who were born to them. Confused?)

I see adults in counseling who, as children, were afraid to make mistakes. Not some incorrigible and terrible, but simply - mistakes. Because the parents worked a lot and were so tired that they did not have the strength to react delicately, and remained only to shout, a leather belt, long hours in the corner of the closet (whoever was lucky here). They desperately lacked the strength to talk about feelings. Although there was no skill either. Because their own parents talked to them just as negligibly little about feelings and fears. They (feelings) simply were, without an emphasis on significant emotional components and analysis into molecules.

Someone, for example, the parents did not hug. Not because they did not love, but simply because they did not know how. And they simply did not know how to show this love otherwise than through debt to give it to a correct and useful circle and dress warmly in winter.

How often did these children grow up without the right to anger, because it was always equated with a huge minus sign, overgrown from above with accusations of ingratitude and disrespect for parents in particular and the older generation in general. They got used to anger - to suppress, coping with it in the best traditions of our parents - as best they could. They defended themselves with tears, giving vent to fear and resentment through a loud and shrill sound, but this was often condemned, because it was loud and shrill, but what about the neighbors and public opinion.

Most of those sitting across from the consultation are such grown-up children. For whom they knew what was best. To whom they said: grow up, then we will talk; gain experience, then I will listen to you; it's right that the teacher hit you, you deserve it.

Sometimes I am so full of strength and optimism that I believe that everything has changed with the advent of the Internet and the availability of psychotherapeutic thought. Then I go out into the street and see how another mother, no matter how many years she has been unable to cope with her five-year-old son. And instead of being there and allowing the outpouring of emotion, she breaks down and punishes him for his "bad" behavior.

To adults, children's problems seem small and insignificant. For children, they remain important even when they grow up.

Let's hear the children while they still need it. Let's hug them while a calm “it's okay, I'm near” can still change something. Let's show them love and protection when they need it, not appeal to their "adulthood" and gender differences. Let us always be on their side, even when they make mistakes and stumble

Maybe then their own children will have fewer bad dreams.