2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
… "Mom, grandma is dead," the voice sounded as if from another world. The earth disappeared from under my feet, a hot, burning wave engulfed my entire being, burning out my heart. It was as if I was divided: one part of me was dying with these words, and the other was just watching from afar. These parts were very far from each other. I was whole, real, alive as if I was no longer at all. Shards …
This story ended well - the information turned out to be erroneous, my mother was alive. But I remember those experiences for many years with all the emotions and sensations, as if it had just happened. Over the years, the acuity of these memories does not dull.
This is probably why I am working with this theme, the theme of loss and grief. When faced with the difficult stories of my clients, I really share and understand their feelings, I can imagine what is happening to them. I know how painful and scary it is to drown in these feelings, in this pain and isolation from the world, from people.
Each grief is individual. Each person lives their loss uniquely, as if it happened for the first time in the world. But there is something that unites these people - a total sense of isolation from life and loneliness. And this state is both painfully desirable and intolerable. It's hard to live with.
I know it. Therefore, I do not stop saying over and over again that people should not be left alone with their grief.
I need someone close by. Someone who can handle someone else's pain. Who knows how to listen and hear. Who does not try to distract and allows the grieving person to live their pain. Because, having lived, you can let go. Because speaking to another about his loss over and over again, a person is freed from intolerable feelings. Because it is necessary to speak and cry, it is necessary as long as there is a need for it. Because grieving is painful, hard, but normal! Survive, cannot be tolerated. And the work of grief continues until the sharp pain is replaced by sadness and there is an opportunity to move on, to live. Live your life.
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I slightly change the text of the note, because a sincere desire to share feelings and thoughts about the sad incident that happened yesterday in society was perceived by some as a desire for PR and advertising on someone else's grief. If someone else heard my text in this way, I'm sorry, and, in order to avoid repetition, I delete the part that raised questions, and leave the words of condolences in my heart.
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