2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Ancient roving instincts
They fray the chain of habits and centuries, And, waking up from deep sleep, Once again, the wild beast comes out of the shackles
/Jack London/
What do we remember about our early childhood? About father, mother, family celebrations and events related to some secret, which, even after many years, cannot be revealed? An elusive secret is an unrecognized secret.
Now I don’t remember which of the greats said “My sorrow is my memory”. And it is precisely this statement that I would put as the second epigraph to the article.
Today I will talk about ancestral memory - the memory of our ancestors, and how this memory affects our real life: our feelings and desires, attitude to success and material wealth, the ability to love and accept love, on relationships in a couple, issues of upbringing children and many other aspects of life.
In the memory of generations there is something elusive and unconscious, like in a secret ghost, which we place inside ourselves, almost like in a secret tomb, called a "family crypt", and this secret as a given, we carry in ourselves throughout our lives and pass on to our children and grandchildren.
What is this secret? Where is she from? What is its impact on our real life? Our personality, our actions and feelings?
We carry it in our hearts, in our bodies and from time to time we play in the real events of our life, and then we hide it back into this "family crypt" in the vain hope of hiding from ourselves all our own unresolved internal conflicts, anxieties and fears.
Partly in real life, we live the lives of our ancestors.
And here is the question "Do we want to know that we are not living our own life?" The answer to it makes me think that in fact “we” is not exactly “we” - but, for the most part, “we” is the continuation of the life of our kind.
A fake life that was not ordered and did not want, but was accepted as a gift from our ancestors along with its name, social status, genetic predisposition to diseases, material wealth, family values, rules and much more.
As you know, happiness is in ignorance, and in this context the false life wins over the real one by being hidden and unconscious. And what is hidden is impossible to fully comprehend, understand and accept. For the most part, this is why we cannot find the reason for our repetitive actions, which are often destructive, lead to unwanted changes in careers, couple relationships and business. This fear of "being brought out to clean water" does not allow us to fully enjoy the wonderful gifts that our life presents - the birth of children, love, success, joy from the achieved goal. And time after time we feel guilty about what is hidden in this "family crypt".
What makes us act according to the scenario proposed by our kind?
- Latent (unconscious) loyalty to your family. Unwritten family laws and regulations. Every family has a book called "Family Bills", which is paid by each subsequent generation. In it, as in the ledger, records are kept of debts and merit, fair and unjust actions in relation to the family. In such a situation, each next generation has an unconscious desire to regain the status and rights lost by one of the ancestors, to win back injustice at ANY cost. And that price can be prohibitive. The anger and resentment that came to the surface in this way sometimes turns a person's life into an absolute hell.
- The introduction of the "ghost of the genus" into our unconscious experiences is a consequence of a traumatic event experienced or injustice from someone's actions in relation to our ancestors. It is this “ghost” that is often associated with family secrets, which are viewed as something shameful (prison, serious illness, mental disorders, illegitimate children, etc.). In the unconscious, these family secrets are buried, walled up, and like Pandora's box, we are waiting for someone to come and open it. And then … then all the secret will become clear … and then the "ghost" will burst out. We both wish and fear this "ghost" phenomenon to the world. In times of despair, stress, depression, loss, when our psyche becomes more vulnerable and its protective mechanisms of control weaken, our "ghost" breaks out. And then we, with our own hands, open the “Book of Family Accounts” and begin to present them to the world, which is called “FOR PAYMENT”.
- Family unions, which exclude some family members at the moment when the relationship between two in a couple becomes unbearable, one resorts to the help of a third to reduce the level and degree of anxiety in the couple. For example, a wife, having quarreled with her husband, seeks support from her mother.
- Our own birth as a “replacement child” who was born to replace the deceased (child or close relative).
- The setbacks in life, which are usually associated with the fear of surpassing both parents, of being socially and professionally superior.
- The syndrome of anniversaries: birth, marriage, illness and loss. It is by these dates that the "ghost" often plans to receive payment on his "bills".
Do we want to know whose life we are really living? Or will our sense of the "power of the race" be limited to a family tree drawn on a piece of paper?
Perhaps, at some point, it will become extremely necessary and important for us to look into the “family crypt”, to feel the call of our ancestors. And then, giving meaning to certain events in our life, we will look for an answer to the question "whose life am I living?"
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