Empathy Will Make Your Life Better

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Sympathy sympathy strife

Effective communication is impossible without the ability to take the position of another person. And this is not about simple sympathy, when we slap the interlocutor on the shoulder and say that everything will be fine. The essence of empathy is to see the situation as the other sees it, to get used to his subjective picture of the world, without losing touch with his own feelings. The ability to recognize other people's thoughts and feelings is not enough, you also need to express your understanding so that the interlocutor feels it.

Empathy is one of the elements of the so-called emotional intelligence, which has become a favorite term for modern business consultants and psychologists. According to research, the well-known intelligence quotient (IQ) is practically unrelated to personal and professional achievement. Instead, it turns out to be much more useful in different areas of life - EQ - emotional intelligence, which includes four components:

• A person's awareness of their experiences
• Regulating your behavior according to your emotions
• Reading the state and motives of another person
• Building relationships with the other person's inner context

All this together helps to follow in communication with people the so-called "platinum rule": to behave with others not the way we would like to be treated with us - but the way the other person really needs it. Family relationships are based on developed emotional intelligence, and this is the first thing that spouses work out in pair psychotherapy. He helps the head of the company to involve subordinates in the work process, maintain their interest and find the most suitable tasks and ways of reward for each employee. With extremely low EQs, it is impossible to work in a team or respond to customer inquiries in any industry.

Emotional intelligence and, in particular, empathy is an innate ability of all people, for which special neurophysiological mechanisms are even provided in the human brain. Unfortunately, in the age of e-mail and automated control systems, it is difficult to keep emotional intelligence at its best. But if you find it difficult to connect with people, it’s just a matter of practice and desire. Setting up a different type of thinking and getting closer to yourself and those around you is not as difficult as it seems.

Positive emotions help you grow above yourself

The first step to openness and understanding is a positive outlook on life. Positive emotions radically change the perception of the world and open up new opportunities for understanding oneself and others. Even if it seems to you that the world around you is crumbling, you are free to control your attention and choose activities that raise your spirits. Change the channel if the news makes you feel discouraged. Do not meet people from communication with whom you are sad at heart. Avoid situations in which nothing depends on your efforts.

The hardest part of this process is to be positive about yourself. Excessive self-criticism, self-pity and despair erode self-esteem and drain all strength. To break the cycle of pessimism, write negative thoughts on paper and analyze them objectively. One of the qualities of emotionally developed people is the ability to think soberly and avoid self-flagellation using words such as "never" and "worst of all."

To replace a negative emotional background with a positive one, look for what makes you happy. The more you experience joy and gratitude throughout the day, the more resilient you become in stressful situations. Therefore, learn to fill your everyday life with reasons to smile, amuse your friends and colleagues, and even on the busiest days, leave yourself time for your favorite activities.

Tune in to an emotional wave

Once you can rekindle your optimism and reinforce your positive attitudes, it’s time to practice your empathy skills. First of all, make sure that live communication in your life is no less than virtual. Meet with family, clients and superiors face to face. Only in the field will you have the opportunity to hone your skill of empathy. How to turn on the extinct neurons that are responsible for cooperation and mutual understanding?

1. Watch. Look around and watch yourself. As soon as you see situations in real life, in books and films, when people help each other out, listen to each other or compromise - put a tick in your mind or write it down in a diary of observations.
2. Have a conversation. When you communicate with a person, learn to think out for him how he sees the situation, what he means. But don’t think you’re able to read minds - use empathic listening tools instead. For example, it is always appropriate to ask, "Do I understand correctly that you are disappointed?" or "What exactly upset you in this whole story?"
3. Get interested. Mastering the techniques is not enough to become a master of dialogue. You need to learn to see something curious in every interlocutor, even if you have known each other all your life or accidentally bumped into each other at a bus stop. If you manage to relate with interest to every living person, this will help you constantly learn new things and take into account different points of view. And the more sincere your interest is, the easier it will be to show it.
4. Experiment. There is no better way to learn to feel other people than to live their life. If you need to be imbued with the needs of clients, agree to work in their position for a week, go through all their daily difficulties. Participate in unusual workshops, volunteer in areas that are alien to you and in other countries. Such experiments will invariably enrich your inner world and open up a new level of empathy.
5. Imagine. If there is no way to live someone else's life in the real world, read more, watch high-quality films about the fate of people. Observe how fictional characters feel and imagine how you would act in their place.

Developing emotional intelligence is natural and easy, and emotionally mature people are always visible from afar. They shine with confidence and full of energy, they are charismatic and attract attention, even if they are not gifted with a model appearance. Being attentive to their own and others' feelings fills them with inner confidence, so they do not need the praise and approval of other people in order to feel valuable and worthy. On the other hand, the ability to take into account the feelings of other people leads them to the understanding that they are no better and no worse than others - and from this understanding is born undeniable respect for all people on Earth. How wonderful it would be to live in a society where all people are honest with themselves and others, value each other's opinions and constantly find new reasons to love life.