On The Social Phenomenon "bribe" From The Point Of View Of Psychology

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

(D. S. - Damian Sinaisky; I - Interviewer)

Q: Information was published that the average level of bribes in Russia increased by 75% over the year. Now it is about 330 thousand rubles - an average bribe. Naturally, there are much more amounts, because this is how the "average temperature in the ward" is calculated. And in legal language there is a very interesting name for the bribe itself: "illegal reward". That is, it turns out that, on the one hand, a person breaks the law, as it were, and, on the other hand, he simply thanks someone for the service he received. And how can people who find themselves on opposite sides of the barricades feel here? Some kind of injustice or that this is how the world works, and will we follow this path? The amount itself is interesting. Because with an average salary in Russia - suddenly, such an amount. She's impressive, of course. What are the emotions and thoughts of an ordinary person who, for example, will never hold such an amount in his hands?

D. S.: Yes, Larissa, I agree completely. Unfortunately, we have gone from the past centuries. Our chief historiographer Karamzin, when asked: "How are things in Russia?" “They are stealing,” he answered. Therefore, indeed, someone thinks, but I do not agree with this interpretation, that this is almost a feature of our national spirit, our national culture - an element of bribery. There were good terms, and I think they can also be introduced: embezzlement, covetousness, bribery, that is, theft. That is, here, it seems to me …

Q: Don't you need to substitute terms?

D. S.: Yes. There is no need to whitewash somehow, there is no need to mitigate - theft, embezzlement. The worst thing, you say, 300 thousand is “average temperature”. That is, on the one hand, there may be 8 billion for the investigator or 1.5 billion for the governor - and this is only one-time, this is what was found. And, relatively speaking, 500 or 100 rubles from some old lady who is carrying a box of chocolates to the doctor - of course, these are not comparable figures. There are psychological and psychoanalytic mechanisms here. In other words, why people, in simple terms, have lost their conscience. They do not steal in thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of rubles, but already in billions. That is, all boundaries are lost. We will consider psychoanalytic and, perhaps, social, social mechanisms.

Of course, decades, three generations of Soviet power, where, in general, it was rather harsh, were not in vain. We remember, I still remember those times when there were pulls, back doors to buy something. Arkady Raikin told us about this very well. That is, if you have your own warehouse manager, then you are then a Human or something like that. But, nevertheless, some common moral values - maybe the war influenced, maybe, severe hardships - and this is common, it somehow brought us closer together. But the spring was pressed down. There, after all, any initiative was crushed by this communist ideology. Desires were crushed. Including desires for comfort.

We made rockets, but we couldn't make a car or a miserable frying pan. These are the priorities. And when perestroika took place and the gentlemen - both Gorbachev and Yeltsin - allowed EVERYTHING, then, of course, it was the unconscious, suppressed - aggression, theft, self-interest that came out. Everything that was crushed. And, of course, by the law of the pendulum, this spring fired. And, as in any crisis community - for example, a prison, an isolation ward - there is not someone who is smarter or more educated at the head. Remember, our academicians near the Akademicheskaya and Universitetskaya metro stations were selling some last things, living on 100 rubles. And, at the same time, people without education, maybe ignorant, who just know how to steal, know how to cheat, know how to deceive - they were, so to speak, millionaires, etc. As the respected Rockefeller said, I think this applies to any oligarch of ours when he was asked about the origin of his billions: "You can ask me about any dollar that I have earned, except for the first million." That is, of course, God forbid to experience this responsibility when there is blood on the hands of these nouveau riche, and deceived destinies, and so on, so on, so on.

Coming back to our situation. It seems to me that after all, the one who takes a bribe is an insecure person. He needs to recognize his abilities, his talents. He must have high self-esteem. And when they give him money in a package or money is transferred to the account or, as you say - "greyhounds" in the form of yachts, quads, some gifts, - then he feels the very recognition that he has not had since childhood, from the outside, maybe parents, from the side of society. And now this self-esteem, which was crushed, is increasing in him. That is, it is a purely psychological aspect.

Plus, there is still such a moment: if we are talking about the moral side, but with a psychoanalytic mechanism, this is such sadism and masochism in one bottle. A person who has power, he revels in his power and it gives him pleasure. For example, I have a client, he is such a “mini oligarch”. He drives Maseratti, everything is fine with him. When he came to me some time ago in coaching, in psychoanalysis, he said so bluntly: “Damian, what do you want? It's cattle. " I say: "How to understand - what is a redneck?" - “My employees. I give them bread, a salary. I pay taxes "-" Wait. Then take me to the same cattle. I am like that too”-“No, what are you. You are my personal psychoanalyst. You are my coach, business coach”and so on. And after a few sessions, he begins to think completely differently. That it's not about who is stronger is right. And the point is not in these perverse pleasures: here I have power, now I am to nail you and I will revel in this power, I will experience pleasure. Or the downside is the same employee who endures it all. That is, it is an element of moral masochism. Why should he endure? Apparently, he has some hidden pleasures, etc.

Plus, more motivation. Of course, we want to live richly, we want to live comfortably, we want to buy. But we have no resources. But there are inner desires. As one character used to say in one beautiful film “Prisoner of the Caucasus”: “I have a desire, but I do not have the opportunity. I have the opportunity, but I have no desire. These contradictions between possibilities and realities also lead to this conflict situation when a person wants, but there is a certain social norm. We still have them, these norms: you can't steal, you can't take someone else's. And so this desire, and this general permissiveness, unbridled since the 90s, are present. This point, too, it seems to me, is very important. A person receives a bribe to gain and improve their self-esteem.

Q: But what about the feeling of fear? They are, as I understand it, people who have achieved some position, position, are they not stupid? They must understand that some kind of failure can come in the situation. Responsibility may ensue. They probably understand the extent of this responsibility and still do not finish the initial period of accumulating their capital. That is, they have it stretched as long as they are in this position, in this power

D. S.: Yes, this is a mystery, apparently, of the human psyche, which will never be solved. That is, when a person is in a normal mind, and when he understands the consequences, of course, any normal person will never agree to such a thing. But when a person gets into an atmosphere of permissiveness … I remember the 90s, when my clients, with whom I was a psychoanalyst, a business coach, they simply brought me prices. For example, a person has committed a crime. How much you need to pay in order not to be brought to a criminal case. How much does it cost when a criminal case has already been opened. How much does it cost to transfer a friend or relative from one colony to another colony. And the works there were very jewelry. For example, a well-known crime boss who lives in Paris. We will not give a surname. How they made the circuit is also brilliant. Creative guys. In order to free our military from Chechnya, sometimes there were good goals, it was necessary to free a Chechen authority, a bandit, from the colony. And they could not, because the chairman of the colony was very honest. Found the key. The child is sick. They promised to cure. Cured. After that, he secretly released. These were the schemes.

It would seem that the state where it is necessary to violate moral principles in order to have a double standard is terrible. We call this "moral myopia": in general we say "no", but in everyday life - all the time "you can."

Plus, there is still such a moment of the game - with a risk, when you want a little something so spicy. For example, hookers that are attached to electric trains, or those who climb high-rise buildings, etc. It is important for them to feel this fear, something a little extreme. This element is associated with psychological mechanisms. In general, generally speaking, we live among people. Society is people. People are relationships. And relationships are psychology. But nowhere is this taken into account, unfortunately.

Q: Look, the second side. A grandmother who bought a box of chocolates on retirement and carries them to the doctor, who already has these chocolates up to the ceiling. Why does grandma do this? What are the complexes, what are the motives? Why can't she stop and understand that the doctor was treating her for money? The children paid, the grandmother came. No, it doesn't matter. That is, we have some need not to humiliate ourselves, I don’t know, but to thank for everything

D. S.: There are also two points here. Firstly, we are so accustomed to our mentality. Our roots are very deep - millennia. That is, this lack of spirituality, meaninglessness of existence, even if somehow ennobled by morality, by some values. Here, the Soviet period, he did not burn from his knee the feeling of nobility that we have in our genes. The two main qualities, it seems to me, are a sense of justice and a sense of gratitude. We are all ready to endure, if it's fair. If this is not fair, we will not tolerate it. Unfortunately, sometimes we can go from one extreme to another.

And a feeling of gratitude. If we receive some kind of service or help us, we simply cannot but thank. As before: if I helped a neighbor, an old granny, who asked me to buy bread, I bought, and she gave me an apple, for example. This is the little things. For example, my wife and I went to an exhibition. I bought tickets, but we were taken through the service entrance, through mutual acquaintances of an art gallery employee. But, nevertheless, I took a box of chocolates with me. And I did not violate anything, it would seem. You could skip the line, this is an electronic ticket. Basically, what's the difference - this is how I came or that? But, since the person worked hard, I had to thank him. And here there is still such a moment, more hidden. Unfortunately, we modern people do not want to be indebted to anyone. This feeling of dependence, for some reason it begins to introduce us into an uncomfortable state.

Q: That is, it is important for us to be counted?

D. S.: Yes. I don't owe you anything. The feeling of being "obligated", "dependent" causes us some kind of uncomfortable irritation, depression. They did me good and I have to thank. It would seem that they did me good, did a good service, and I should be glad - what good people! But no, it starts to annoy me, to suppress me. Moreover, if it is in commercial structures, we have seen it, people kill each other in order not to depend, in order not to thank. At the same time, it is those who receive this good that they kill, order.

We talk a lot with Orthodox priests, Orthodox psychotherapists, and you know what the phrase is - "You did good and run away." That is, save yourself so that no one will give you anger or aggression in return. This is how our values are at the unconscious level, at the conscious and at the level of social and personal values, how much everything is distorted and distorted - such a "porridge-malasha" - that it is very difficult to understand without a specialist. Or only through some kind of self-education, introspection, etc.

Q: I was told an incident in a familiar family. The boy says to his mother in the morning, going to kindergarten: "Take a box of chocolates." Mom takes it. Thinks that maybe someone's birthday, something else. And the boy goes to the manager, gives it to her. She told him: "Vanechka, for what?" - "So that you treat us better."

D. S.: Here. From kindergarten, we are already teaching. You see, a child who was born in this atmosphere understands that this will give some privileges, a personal attitude.

I have very unique, sometimes, clients from whom I believe I get more from them. Let's say a woman is from St. Petersburg, she is a blockade. And I have discounts for pensioners, sometimes I also work for charity. So she forced me to take from her the same money as others pay. I say: "No, you know - I have to pay you." Because she is a very educated person. He tells such facts from history, which you just sit and listen to. As a result, I, the only one, managed to convince her to conduct the second session free of charge. And she told me directly: "Damian, if I do not pay you as others pay, the attitude towards me will be different." This is no longer convincing. Moreover, we are people of extremes. Therefore, we are reinsured sometimes. But the main thing, of course, is the unwillingness to be addicted. We have distorted this feeling of simply joyful gratitude. "Thank you" - and rejoice at it. But there is also a downside: the one who does this good, he immediately demands to be appreciated. Here's another distortion. It is double, distortion.

For example, I have a client who needs to operate on some female diseases. Uncomplicated, but surgery is needed. Officially, it costs so much, but the doctor needs to pay 150,000 rubles. And he says, a doctor, right during the negotiations that you will pay this to the cashier, and 150,000 in my pocket. But keep in mind that after the operation, you have to pay 20-30 thousand extra. This is the day in healthcare. And the client doesn't know what to do. If she were an active woman, she would take a dictaphone, record the doctor's speech, take him to the police, and they would put him in jail. I tell her, "Why don't you want to do this?" - “How? I feel sorry for him "-" What are you going to pay? " - "What is there to do? You have to pay. " And this is still superimposed on superstitions, again, unconscious: “If I don’t thank him, what if he does something wrong, what if he’s not lucky? What if the operation will go unsuccessfully? " And self-hypnosis begins, self-programming. And in the end, a person finds one way out - yes, I will pay and that's it.

Q: That is, we somehow easily agree with double standards

D. S.: With triple, quadruple standards and from all sides. You and I talked about the matrix, about what they inspire us, about the fact that we are being manipulated and created by our thinking, our behavior, and it is very difficult to figure out where is really good and where is evil. It's very difficult to figure it out. Because if I have to do this, make a decision, then I take responsibility. And we don't want responsibility. Better to let someone else take responsibility. This is one of the deeper problems in our society.

If we tried to take responsibility, then, as other clients say, entrepreneurs - there would be no such lawlessness in our life. There would be no such violation of all and all principles. I have 43-year-old clients, HR, outstanding in corporations who studied in England, in the United Arab Emirates, in Moscow. Our Russian Muscovites live here. They say, “Damian, there are no good noble men. Only grabber, selfish people. There are no noble men. And you have to somehow work with them, work. A person's circle of communication begins to expand, and she begins to understand that those islands have survived in which we can come into contact with them. That there are not just noble people to appear noble. But he is simply noble. And when a person is faced with this, you sometimes hear such sobs there. But you are glad that the person understands a little, begins to see. These are the most difficult cases. But she grew up here, from a wealthy family. And from there, all this was laid in it. Generation 43-46 years old: only black - white, winner - loser.

This paradigm, it leads to neuroses and psychoses, to moral short-sightedness, to the devaluation of everything and everyone. And as a result, a person, first of all, does not respect or appreciate himself, and, accordingly, will never respect anyone. Because, he will think that everyone is the same grabber, grabber, etc. Remember the MOUR scandal? When the investigator of the criminal investigation department of our legendary MUR is 100,000 million. And the mansion, where his mother lived. An old, elderly woman, mom. And when she was interviewed by a correspondent, she said: “Why? Everybody steals. Why my son? She is a simple woman. She said what she thought.

I: In my opinion, Ekaterina Vorontsova said in Crimea that “steal, but do the deed”

DS: There is a proverb: "Yes, we steal, but we do it according to our conscience." This is, of course, an intersection. We can now remember our beloved Dostoevsky. This is the intersection and the beginning, this is the soul and psyche of each person. It is every person's right to decide. Of course, we are not in an ideal society. We are not robots. We need to make some kind of compromise options, of course. We live among people. This is also a fanatical extreme. It does not lead to anything good. “Here I am - honest and everyone should be honest. Or I'll go over the corpses. " These are also extremes, this is also psychology. We must make decisions, but not to overstep. You can overstep ambition, you can overstep some kind of compromise, but not overstep dignity. This is scary.

I had a client who worked in a government structure, in reserve. Where food is piled up in case of war, etc. And before the delay, they sell them. And he made very good money. Received bribes, although the salary was small. He held on for one time, and then there was some kind of break in the sessions, he paused for about a month or two, and he returned to me again to therapy, to coaching. I was horrified at how he degraded outwardly. He became cynical, he became untidy. And it was during this period, as it turned out later, that he committed the greatest theft. He earned a lot of money. And two months later he was imprisoned. This is a fact. I saw this dynamic, how the person was so educated, well-mannered, intelligent, and how this money degraded and destroyed his entire mental structure. Values, morality, morals - it was all destroyed. There was only this polished, self-confident, such a rich nouveau riche. But it all went to dust.

Q: Saturated with external moments …

D. S.: I remember how he argued to me that there is no other way. When we tried to talk to him after this break, when he changed a lot. That is why I am so, sometimes, and worry about clients, because it was possible to predict. But as he said: “Damian, no. This is the norm. " And this norm was imposed, remember, by politicians and oligarchs. The oligarch told us directly in an interview on Channel One: "If we could not have been paid to the Pension Fund, we did not pay." And this is Norilsk Nickel! This is 10% of the budget. And how many pensioners there died of hunger or disease, these are not their problems. That is, if there is no, as you say, fear or a whip - punishment, which, however, is now appearing, then there is nothing to worry about. Of course, one governor is not enough. Look, you can take any governor, investigator, etc. - necessarily millions, billions of rubles.

We can remember Putin, our President, who said 10-15 years ago that the situation is such that you want to howl: "You give 100% of the budget money, 50% will be steal away." This was our leader. Now, of course, in this sense, changes are evident. At least this fear has appeared. The average bribe may have increased, but decreased in percentage terms. That is, indeed, people are already afraid, and they have increased the cost of their services. They are now taking risks, but they are taking risks …

Q: With music

DS: Yes, this is a purely psychological moment: "I'm scared, let me take more." Just in case, suddenly something like that. You see, we again run into psychology.