Manifestation Of Feelings And Emotions - A Difficult Science Or A Must-have Of The Modern World?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Manifestation of feelings and emotions - a difficult science or a must-have of the modern world?

I notice from my clients that rarely does anyone come to therapy when they have a question about how to earn money for food or for the treatment of some serious illness. When all of a person's survival needs are closed, only then the questions arise: “Who am I?”, “What do I want from life?”, “What is interesting to me?”, “How can I interact with other people?”.

It seems to me that approximately the same processes are taking place with humanity as a whole. Over the past 100 years, we have been developing very actively, compared to those periods when people were increasingly looking for an opportunity to survive in endless wars and epidemics that affected millions of lives. Today we, basically, have already learned how to solve these problems and have moved to a completely different level, where in the first place for a person is the question of self-realization and interaction with society.

Self-development becomes relevant both for the person himself and for society as a whole, and the active development of various areas of psychology is a confirmation of this. It's like knowing English. If earlier it was a rare skill, now it is a must-have for every modern person. Of course, you can not learn a foreign language and do without it, you have every right, but the possibilities with knowledge of English and without it make a big difference.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

We can no longer simply exist for the sake of food and reproduction, it is time to think about what is inside. And inside - these are our feelings and emotions. This is "emotional intelligence" (EI; English emotional intelligence, EI) - a person's ability to recognize emotions, understand the intentions, motivation and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their emotions and the emotions of other people in order to solve practical problems (Wikipedia.org).

A person who is well aware of his feelings and understands why they arise has a number of advantages among his “colleagues” in the intellectual environment. He understands well what is happening around him and how to react to it.

For example, many already know that fear is often behind aggression. When we are afraid of something, we always do something - run away, freeze, go on the attack. Those who understand that behind such behavior they have fear, realize what it comes from, how to deal with it. They can work with the same “origin” - the original source of the problem, without resorting to their “primitive beginning” - to aggression. Such people do not generate a response from the environment, for example, aggression to aggression, because they understand what they are afraid of, and accordingly, use other options. Just imagine how such people are not what is more conscious and “correct” in their decisions and actions, they know how to manage themselves and the situation.

At the same time, “emotional intelligence” is empathy (the ability to empathize with another person). If you have poorly developed these skills, you can hardly understand what is happening to other people, even if they give you “alarm signals”. You will misread people, misunderstand their reactions, take wrong actions in relation to them, and you will live as in a parallel universe, divorced from what is really happening.

“X-men” of our time are conscious people

I am sure that now you "try on" all my reasoning only for your personal life - relationships with spouses, children, parents, friends. But these issues are relevant both for the professional sphere and in developed countries are even considered important criteria for hiring a person. You can properly interact with people at work and use them (in a good way) for your own purposes and interests.

Recent research has highlighted the need to combine personality, interests, and abilities when exploring career choices, career commitments, and career success. The idea is that EI can be a bridge linking rational-cognitive and affective as well as connotative aspects of career choices, career commitments, and career success. A recent review of 59 studies found that EI can be useful for predicting performance.

It may seem that I am describing some kind of "super-people", but these are just the canons of a civilized society. Unfortunately, in Ukraine, the practical part of psychology, which is associated with self-knowledge, began to actively develop only in the last 15 years, when the period of the "Merry 90s" ended and the issue of survival faded into the background. While in the United States and Europe, various areas of psychology have been developing for 80 years.

Our generation, brought up according to the laws of sensuality, empathy and harmonious interaction, has not even grown up yet. It remains for an adult to educate himself. And only working with a psychotherapist, in this case, can be a solution.

If you have children, they are very lucky that you are reading this article. You have a chance to grow out of them conscious, emotionally and intellectually developed people. Fortunately, the development of emotional intelligence in children has now become a fashion trend and a top discussion on the Internet among young parents. We are increasingly thinking about what kind of people our children will grow up to be, and not about what they will eat. And this cannot but rejoice.

Empower Children to Emote

For example, saying that “a good girl is never angry” is fundamentally the wrong approach. As part of the education of emotional intelligence in children, you must understand that anger is an emotion that signals important things, that the child does not like what is happening around him, does not suit him. The child must experience it, otherwise, suppressing anger, he will not be able to understand that something does not suit him already in adult life. This is not the kind of future you want for your children, is it? This also applies by the way: "boys never cry", "girls do not give back" and so on. Give your child the opportunity to react - aggressively if someone wants to take something away from him or crying if the situation makes him sad. Another thing is that feeling emotion and showing it are two different things, and it is also worth teaching children to show oneself. For example, not just letting kids get angry, but doing it in the right way.

Your job is to explain what's going on

Showing emotions from childhood, a person learns to be aware of them. And the task of the parents is to make the child understand what is happening to him. For example, if a child falls and gets hurt, the reaction can be varied. If a parent can panic himself, shouting “everything is gone, now you’ll bring an infection”, the child has an equation: pain = death. But, if the parent knows how to “contain” the child’s emotion, he will say: “I understand that you are in great pain now, I want to feel sorry for you and your pain will soon pass,” the child will develop an understanding that pain = just pain. Guess when a child will grow up to be an emotionally healthy adult.

Give feedback to your child

Is something happening to you? Feel free to explain a little about yourself to your child. Tell the children what feelings and emotions you have in relation to them, and what in relation to different situations. Then the child will have an understanding of what happens to people when he interacts with them in one way or another. The children then develop empathy. They understand that when a person, for example. angry, he has such an expression - they will be able to read the emotions of people when they grow up.

As you can see, the “heroes of our time” in the psychological sense of the word are not super-people and not the children of “X”. This is you and me, this is the parents of that child and the employees of that company. These are just people who care not only about the health of their teeth, skin, stomach, but also understand the importance of healthy feelings and emotions. The level of awareness of life is a measure of its quality. The children we bring up are the future "backbone" of the emotional intelligence of the whole society, and our own feelings and emotions in the present are indicators of everything that happens to us. Raise yourself and live well, and don't just exist for the sake of nutrition and reproduction.