When Perfectionism Rules Your Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Realization of their abilities, their recognition by others, allows you to feel like a successful person. An important part is professional achievement, where failure can cast a shadow over a person's entire life.

Doing your job well, with high quality, paying attention to detail, calculating risks, this approach makes you an example to follow in the eyes of others, you are admired or envied.

The attention of others is flattering, self-esteem and self-esteem rises and spurs on to do tasks at a level, if not better. But along with those who follow the example, there are those who can begin to look for flaws. Indicate where improvements could be made.

And then instead of satisfaction from a job well done, there is irritation that not all the details have been taken into account. And the more energy was spent on the task, the stronger the internal criticism unfolds. There is no way to congratulate yourself on the work done, to notice that the shortcomings did not affect the final result, since a picture appears - that since there is no ideal result, then as if the process itself did not exist either. And in this way, a person enters the next round in an attempt to fulfill everything perfectly.

In such a picture, it is not possible to take into account all the details, the environment and the inner critic will always have an opinion and it is impossible to foresee everything. The pursuit of perfection does not give an opportunity to stop, there is only a goal and a lot of energy spent on nuances.

There is no way to stay at the end point, analyze the task and admit that everything that could be done at that moment was 100% completed. Such a process is based on irrational beliefs, which interfere with getting satisfaction from the activity.

The stakes are growing, and the resources for completing the task are not calculated, and then the perfectionist falls into a funnel: where the striving for perfection and its subsequent depreciation, the "all or nothing" strategy begins. This is dangerous because, with such a mechanism, "nothing" appears in the work more often, "since I cannot do it perfectly, then I will not do it in any way."

Perfectionism may be based on the belief that significant adults once said to a person in childhood: "It could have been better." "You should have done this and so on." Over time, even an external assessment is no longer needed, inside this process starts by itself.

Striving for the best is a natural desire, but not when it interferes with a fulfilling life and causes suffering. Motivation in work is important, excitement in the process allows you to maintain a level of energy sufficient to complete the task, enjoy the process along the way.

What can you do when you realize that you are already in pursuit of the ideal:

1. Find a fulcrum within yourself, a skill or quality that you always have so that it does not happen around. Whatever criticism or admiration falls on you. And always return to it when you feel that you are starting to run in a circle.

2. Seek support from people who can celebrate the good that you can or have in you. Refuse criticism outright. You know how to criticize yourself perfectly, you do not need someone else's help in this. The task is to learn to pay attention to the positive aspects.

3. Pay attention to what is done well, write a list. And then write on a vskidku what is not taken into account and compare which more. Searching for errors is like a "train on rails", if you switch the arrow of the tracks in the other direction, then the train can arrive at another destination.

4. From small points and positive moments, an internal source of support is formed, which gives energy for business.

If the pursuit of excellence has become a lifestyle, then returning to normal functioning, where there is a place for motivation and excitement can take some time. The more time you live under this flag, about the same time will be required to return to yourself.

However, if, while working with this on your own, you encounter difficulties or cannot switch, then working with a psychologist will give a result. Since this is the formation of a skill that will take time and at the end of the work it will remain with you.

You can sign up for a consultation by phone: 8 (916) 434-96-81.