How To Stop Obsessive Thoughts?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Nobody else, only we are able to control our thoughts and behavior. Sometimes it happens that obsessive thoughts about unpleasant events can flood our mind and it may seem that our thoughts are controlling us. These can be events from the past or experiences about the future. Obsessive or negative thoughts rob us of our calmness and over time can lead to problems such as anxiety or depression.

Why do we have obsessive thoughts?

- trying to find a solution to the problem;

- we try to avoid an unfavorable outcome when we expect something to go wrong;

- sometimes a set of bundles of neurons in the prefrontal cortex of the brain just stops working;

- bad habit.

The problem with intrusive thoughts is that most of the time you focus on resolving or correcting a specific life situation. For example, if your boss is not happy with you, you may start thinking about what you did wrong and worry that if it happens again, there will be serious consequences, such as losing your job. You can mentally replay this in your head over and over and, of course, you will worry about what will happen if the worst-case scenario does come true. Thinking in this way activates the fight-or-flight response, a condition in which the body is mobilized to eliminate a threat. This state practically stops your creative and constructive thought process, which is aimed at solving problems. Thus, in order to find a solution to the existing problem, it is necessary to get rid of the patterns of thinking in this state.

However, it is a very difficult task to stop the flow of thoughts in the "fight or flight" state. In psychology, this paradox is called the "Polar Bear Effect", deliberate attempts to suppress thoughts can often increase the likelihood of their recurrence.

If I tell you to think about a polar bear, and then tell you to stop thinking about it, the chances of the image staying in your memory are great. The reason is that there is no "Off" button in our brain. To stop any single thought, you need to activate another stream of thoughts.

Below are four ways to regain control of your thoughts.

1. Do things on a different emotional frequency.

Feelings follow our thoughts, which shape emotions, so negative thinking generates negative emotions. Worry makes you anxious! There is a paradigm in psychology that states that behavior can change emotions. If you have resource states like running, calling a friend, watching movies, you can increase your emotional frequency. When you are in a better mood, you can think more clearly and this will allow you to look at the situation from a different angle! What makes you feel positive may well distract you from the problem and focus your attention on something else.

2. Make a list of reasons why the thing you fear will not happen.

Most of the things we worry about just never happen. This is because there are many factors that make this unlikely. However, because our brains operate in an activation-inhibition model, active thoughts about what might go wrong prevent us from thinking about the factors that might cause those thoughts to be irrational. It takes a conscious effort to change your thoughts and focus on reflecting on the reasons why your fears are unlikely to come true.

3. Make a list of reasons why, even in the worst case, everything will be all right.

Often, when we have a feeling that something unpleasant will happen, we think that it will be destructive and we will not be able to cope with it, even survive, then it will make us unhappy forever. The truth is that difficult and unpleasant life situations happen all the time and people survive, cope with them, and sometimes even get better as a result. Our brains are extremely adaptable to the circumstances of the moment. The results of how well you handle a given situation depends a lot on your perception of your ability to handle it. Instead of analyzing what is wrong with you, it is advisable to activate thoughts about your strengths. Think about the difficult situations you have already overcome in life and what exactly has helped you, and how you can apply that to other life challenges.

4. Focus on action-oriented solutions.

When you have a decision on how to get out of this situation, you reduce the need for your brain to think and allow yourself, instead, to focus on something constructive or creative that will arise in place of obsessive thoughts. Asking yourself a few simple questions will help you move on to finding a solution.

a) What does this situation mean for me?

Since, in time, we are only able to move forward, we tend to think about the events that happen to us here and now, from the point of view of what they will mean for us in the future. If you argue with your boss, are you worried about what price you will have to pay in the future?

- your relationship may be damaged;

- I may not get promoted, etc.

If there was a nuisance and it would not have anything to do directly with your future life, it would not worry you so much.

b) What do I want to happen?

I want to improve my relationship with my boss. The clarity of what you want is the basis for developing a solution to any problem.

c) What can I do to make this happen?

- I can ask for a meeting with my supervisor to discuss the situation;

- I can control my emotions when communicating with my boss in the future;

- I can continue to communicate with the boss in a positive way;

- I can do my best to show him my professionalism.

A problem solving plan gives you a different perspective on your situation, reduces your anxiety, and removes obsessive thoughts.

If all else fails! Remember that thoughts are just thoughts, and what you think does not make it true! You don't have to act now, you can just watch them and let useless thoughts pass by

Literature

1. Wegner, D., & Schneider, D. 2003. The White Bear Story. Psychological Inquiry. 2. Pribram, K., & McGuinness, D. 1975. Arousal, Activation, and Effort in the Control of Attention. Psychological Review. 3. Brickman, P., Coates, D., & Janoff-Bulman, R. 1978. Lottery winners and accident victims: is happiness relative? Pers Soc Psychol.