2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Relationship boundaries
Galya complains about her husband: when he did it, he blew away dust particles, wore it in his arms. And they began to live together, stopped noticing.
The woman does not realize that her behavior has changed dramatically. She tries her best to be a good wife, mistress, mistress. She pleases her husband, looks into his eyes.
Galina does not keep her boundaries in relationships, because they love each other, which means they should be gentle, soft and open. And if you keep the boundaries, then it is as if you turn up your nose, reject and alienate your loved one.
Only for some reason the man lost interest and respect for his beloved. He knows that everything is allowed to him. Nevertheless, he mutters, is rude, looks to the side.
The fear crept into Galya that he would leave her. And she began to please and curry even more, and he was even more distant and indignant.
There is an opinion in society that it is impossible to keep one's boundaries in a relationship, because this will destroy the relationship.
Relationships collapse if boundaries are not kept!
Native people are in close contact with you, there is an emotional relationship between you. Therefore, loved ones sometimes inflict crushing pain (knowingly or unknowingly).
How is it to keep the boundaries?
1. Show that you are worthy of respect and do not allow yourself to be humiliated.
2. Have your own views, habits, preferences, tastes. After all, if you are a partner's application and mirror it, then at first it is flattering. But over time it becomes boring and insipid, because he does not see the person next to him.
3. Defend your interests and not allow yourself to be turned into a victim.
4. Express your feelings tactfully, and not choke on resentment for fear of breaking up the relationship.
Add your thoughts to the list.
Good Girl and Borders
Katya does not defend her interests, because she is Good. And the good ones do not get angry and do not quarrel, especially with loved ones. The girl often crushes in herself indignation, resentment and irritation. These feelings are born in her inner world by themselves, despite her strict prohibition.
In addition, these repressed feelings carry a strong energetic impulse that tries to break out and state their needs.
So, Katrusi has a lot of negative feelings. But it is forbidden to express them, therefore, they "shoot" with purulent eruptions on the skin, sore throat, affect …
Katyusha realized that choking on her own complex feelings is a path to nowhere, or rather to illness. And she began to defend her borders using constructive aggression.
And on this wonderful path, I met with fierce resistance from relatives and friends, who are not suitable for such behavior of a previously obedient and pliable baby. Accusations of ingratitude, attacks, sorrowful sighs - an incomplete list of manipulative measures taken in order to curb the presumptuous girl.
Very soon Katya feels Bad, Spiteful. But she was taught from childhood that she needed to be Good. The girl's anxiety arises because of an unconscious fear that no one needs her like this and will be left alone.
And here is Katya's dilemma:
1. Do not defend your interests, get sick, choke with malice at those who take advantage of her kind attitude. But be Good.
or
2. Defend borders. Feel Bad and feel Guilt, Shame, Fear.
For Katerina, the choice is difficult. She froze in confusion and makes no choice.
What would you do in a similar situation?
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