2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I am still learning to speak with words through my mouth. It doesn't always work out. That is, I have already learned to open my mouth, but I often don’t get to words. When it gets too deep, the first reaction is to burn everything in fig. May God grant my husband health and a good wife. After all, he endures, the cat, understands, forgives. Well, and then discusses, of course, for preventive purposes: what was bombed, where and why. It's a hunt to live.
So, by joint efforts, we are carrying out excavations in search of artifacts. And although over the years of therapy, whoever has delved there, the husband always manages to find something else. He is an unsurpassed life coach - I recommend, but we ate not such in the process of searching for an answer to the main question - "why". This is where the dog rummaged. Who knows why and why? The wrong step, the crunching of the bones of previous applicants, pain, darkness from the fallen visor, woke up - around destruction and sacrifice. The Dragon? What dragon? Am I a dragon?
As a psychologist, I know that most of the reason, of course, is the inability to feel - in the inability to catch the moment the princess turns into a monster. The more conscious a person is, the better he identifies his emotions, the easier it is for him to interpret body signals, the more chances he has to count to 10 and save the life of his partner. But the lack of connection with oneself is not the only problem.
The second - no less serious - lie. We are time for ourselves and others, instead of the true personality, offering a mirage to the relationship. A sort of retouched image, woven from other people's prohibitions and introjects. A hologram, where external similarity is the only value.
We ourselves do not know what we want. We hide sexuality under a long skirt, and we decorate shyness with a deep neckline, because in the first case, we are driven by my mother's "cover up - not a whore", and in the second case, father's "men love with their eyes." We are lying about independence and self-reliance, while we crave pens and coffee in bed. We portray virtue where one wants to be free, and a girl with an oar where a woman with a whip asks. We deliberately suppress our true self for the sake of questionable norms and are sincerely surprised when we do not receive the desired response. And where does it come from if the partner has never seen us for real? Come on partner, have we seen ourselves?
It seems to me that being honest with yourself is the first step to solving the problem. Knowing yourself, your true values, desires and priorities, it is much easier to adequately respond to external stimuli. Your inner dragon might appeal to your partner if you give them a chance to get to know each other. And you no longer have to burn cities out of fear and pain. Because you will be loved and accepted as you really are, and not as you for some reason try to seem, denying the true nature of the inner self.
Try not to lie - you will like the freedom to be real.
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