How To Get Rid Of Guilt

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Good afternoon dear friends!

Recently, we have been talking about emotions here with you in articles. And in one of my last publications, I expressed the idea that there are basic emotions, and there are more complex experiences that already consist of these basic emotions. For example, fear and joy are basic emotions, while love, envy, guilt can already be composite, filled with different emotions and states.

I also mentioned that emotions are stopped actions, and it is important in therapy to understand what is stopped. And in the case of, for example, guilt, I assumed that this experience is no longer about actions stopped as such, which need to be restored in order to live the emotion, but about a way of thinking that is important to change in order to regain the experience of the emotion of joy in a relationship with someone to whom the guilt is felt. The action here is probably some kind of begging for forgiveness from a person unrestrained, we will not feel emotion at this moment. But, first things first.

I received a question from a user in the comments about what positive thoughts can replace guilt.

I answer. First, we don't change feelings for thoughts. Due to the fact that we rethink something, begin to look at something differently, treat something differently, we have different emotions. That is, we cannot talk about such a replacement, it is not entirely correct.

We can talk about replacing, for example, some attitudes that cause guilt by attitudes that cause the same joy.

Secondly, one must first understand what this very fault is. Guilt is the kind of experience that caters to our need for attachment.

Thus, when guilt is found, as I see it now, and you correct me and supplement, if something is wrong, you can adhere to the following steps:

- to understand what exactly is our fault in front of another;

- to accept the importance of this person for us;

- to understand why it is important and what feelings it evokes in us in this regard;

- to deal with the fears that are behind the guilt, fears of losing him or his location;

That is, it is important to switch to the positive aspect of the feeling of guilt: The person is important to us, we love him!

It is also important to wonder how really we did something bad for him. We can think of something! And he can manipulate us in this way, creating guilt in us, in order to gain power over us.

Well, if it is true that something bad was done, you might think about how to fix it. And if it is impossible to somehow compensate a person for the harm we have caused him for some reason, then you can also think about what to do with it. For example, you can talk to him imaginary and ask for forgiveness, arrange an imaginary dialogue with him and see what happens. Well, this is, of course, a separate big topic, about what and how can be done here.

Yes, by a stopped action in guilt, maybe (not always, of course!) A request for forgiveness. But, for a start, nevertheless, it is important to understand the settings, as I think. For example, it may be that we need only because of our neurosis to seek too much approval and acceptance from other people, then asking everyone for forgiveness will not help the cause very much.

Thank you for attention!