2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Self-doubt is a doubt in your strengths, in your abilities, skills, in your choice, this is a doubt in yourself, a doubt that you can achieve what you want.
Self-doubt is the reason for refusing to take action to achieve what a person needs. Insecure people, feel their wrongness in comparison with others, underestimate their abilities, embellish the tragedy of the situation.
The feeling of self-doubt is acquired; a person is not born as a confident or insecure individual. The formation of self-confidence or self-doubt, like all other feelings, occurs in childhood, when an individual develops a system of self-perception, which is based on the reactions of others (primarily parents).
If in childhood, in the process of personality formation, there is no clear understanding of what the child is praised for and what they are punished for, the boundaries of perception are erased and any action taken by him is perceived a priori negatively. This becomes the first impetus for the development of self-doubt. The behavior and actions of children are always based on the approval or disapproval of the parents, this is how he learns the world. There is a fine line here, overturning which, at the exit, we get an insecure personality.
When, in childhood, different people (for example, mom and dad) react differently to the same event, the child has a misunderstanding of what he has done now. He did well because his mother said so, or he did badly because dad says so, this situation causes uncertainty about what act the child has done, he also does not understand at this moment whether he is good or bad. Of two evils, the bigger is always chosen, and the child concludes: “I am bad, what I did upset dad. Was it necessary to do it. What if everything I do upsets my parents. I'd rather not do anything, or I’ll ask my parents before doing it.” A typical example of the development of self-doubt. And if the parents actively give advice and thus do not allow them to make independent decisions, the "mama's boy" will be activated in full force.
Self-doubt refers to the result of self-esteem, which is an important mental property necessary to assess one's capabilities in comparison with the task at hand. Self-esteem is the controller of our life, which allows us to competently build the course of our life and make or not make decisions.
If in childhood a child is given care, properly looked after, trusted and given every reason to trust others, then he grows up with the confidence that the world is a safe place for him, if he makes a mistake, then nothing terrible will happen. When parents trust a child, he has confidence in his own abilities, since he can independently solve the problems that are in front of him.
In childhood, a child, seeing the model of behavior of his parents and his entire environment, absorbs it as the only correct one. Lack of reaction, as well as a negative reaction to a child's actions, have an equally destructive force, which is expressed in confusion in determining the surrounding reality, causing anxiety and self-doubt.
Self-doubt causes difficulties in communication, in self-expression, in the implementation of their plans and desires. A person has a feeling of envy, anxiety, fear, despair. Self-doubt can spread to some particular area of life, or become the main character trait.
Through his actions and response to them from the outside world, a person learns to build a model of behavior and a picture of his world.
The very first mistake is that the individual does not know himself and does not know the structure of his inner world. From childhood, a person is taught to focus on external factors, ignoring internal ones. Ignorance of one's priorities and values is associated with a lack of understanding of the meaning of life.
Signs of self-doubt
- Constantly comparing yourself to other people
- Shifting responsibility for your life onto circumstances or other people
- Constant underestimation of one's own merits. Feel uncomfortable when praised or thanked
- Extinct gaze, stooped back, no emotional and quiet voice, stuttering, constrained or jerky movements
- Unrealized goals and desires
- Feel bad luck long before the event starts
- Afraid to make decisions, take actions
- Fear of not coping
- Fear of not being accepted, not appreciated
- Dependence on the opinions of others
- Seeking approval for your actions
- Life is full of vanity
- There are more negative emotions, and they are brighter.
How to deal with self-doubt
- Recognize the very fact that you have it
- Write out all the situations in which it manifests itself in you
- Write out your feelings and emotions
- Consider each situation separately from your self-image.
- Make an appointment with a psychologist
- Sign up for psychological games
- Draw your insecurity, then describe it (her gender, age, where she came from, who created it, what she carries in herself, what protects you from)
- Keep a success diary
- Start meditating
- Visualize yourself as a confident person. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, remember or imagine yourself as a confident person, that at this moment you feel, what kind of gait you are, what you think, smell, simulate the situation. So you will form new subconscious attitudes.
- Place in a prominent place all diplomas, awards that you have
- Start to control your posture, always keep your back straight
- Express your desires through I. For example, "I want"
- Train your confidence in what you are saying. Better in the beginning in front of a mirror
- Find a positive environment
- Allow yourself to be wrong
- Compare yourself in the past with yourself in the present, write down positive changes
- Be afraid but do
Remember that every person has fears and self-doubt, even if they seem very confident on the outside. In any situation, it is important to be friendly, do not hesitate to ask for help and support.
Do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, they hide a zone of growth and development. The main thing is not to rush to extremes.
If you have a desire to develop self-confidence, then you can do it. Go in for sports or dancing, people who exercise are more self-confident.
Begin your transformation with self-love. No changes will happen as long as you do not love yourself, just like that, because you are, without any conditions. Praise and reward yourself for even small accomplishments.
I wish you success!
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