2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In therapy, I often hear from clients that they have read a lot of literature about the Inner Child, understand well the peculiarities of this condition, and have learned to notice it. There are many exercises for working with the Inner Child, but little information on how to become a Caring Parent for yourself. The image of the Inner Parent is formed on the basis of interaction with real parents or people who replace them. But what about those people whose parents have never been caring? Practical example … Permission to publish from the client has been obtained, the name has been changed. Marina, 25, says: - I want an inner mother who will be caring.
What is she, a caring mother? What qualities does it have?
- I dont know. I didn't feel cared for by my real mother. Her concern was mostly in the form of criticism.
Who do you know who fits the definition of "caring mom"?
- It's my girlfriend. For me now she is the standard of a caring mother.
What qualities of a caring mother does she have?
- First of all, this is interest in the child, the ability to accept his feelings, support for the child, for example, with the words: "You are good." It is also a permission to make mistakes, tactile contact is a hug, a sincere expression of feelings. Also, a caring mother has wisdom - when she wishes the child happiness, she rejoices in his success, and allows her to choose herself.
I suggest you draw each quality so that it is better understood and remembered
- Yes OK. Interest in the child - image of a butterfly
- The second quality is the ability to accept the feelings of the child - grass
- Fifth quality - tactile contact - handkerchief
- The sixth quality - pleasant words addressed to the child - smile
- The seventh quality is wisdom - third Eye
- The eighth quality - sincere expression of feelings - woman with open arms
- Rank the colors that you used in the drawing from the most pleasant to the most unpleasant.
In general, the figure looks like this
Yellow and brown were in the last place, these colors you used in the drawings - "permission to make a mistake" and "sincere expression of feelings."
- From my real mother, I have never seen either one or the other, while it is difficult for me to believe that this is possible.
The most pleasant colors were found in “pleasant words”, “child support”, “interest in a child”
- Yes, this is what I already know how to show about my Inner Child. I also allow myself to receive pleasant words, support and interest from other people.
Most of the looks are done in nice colors. This means that you, Marina, have already adopted many of the qualities of a Caring Parent and are manifesting them
- Yes, I am very pleased to hear that. I understand that it is. Working with a drawing that reflects the qualities of the Inner Caring Parent allows the client to become aware of their expectations from this part of the personality. Many people find it difficult to express their thoughts and desires, images help to avoid detailed verbal descriptions. At the same time, the metaphor provides a large amount of information, facilitating contact with the unconscious. Through the ranking of colors, one can understand the meaning of this or that quality for a given person, the readiness to accept these qualities, the direction for further work. To become a Caring Parent for yourself, you need to understand what kind of Caring Parent he is, what qualities he possesses, to appropriate these qualities and begin to gradually manifest them in your life.
Articles on the Inner Child and other parts of the personality:
How to make friends with your Inner Child and start trusting the world.
The Critical Parent and Child is within us. Harmonious relationships.
How to get back the parts of the personality that were once lost by the "Inner Child".
Childhood Trauma - The Invisible Child. The path to harmony.
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