2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Personality boundaries - this is a person's comfort zone. Each of us builds our boundaries so that we feel comfortable and safe.
Boundaries are physical, spatial, temporal, sexual, emotional, spiritual, value, ethical, there are boundaries of private property.
Usually the manipulator wants to establish control over the victim, and therefore regularly, systematically makes attempts to violate or "push" other people's borders.
The situation arises as with deprivation of virginity. A man who has deprived a girl of virginity, allegedly endowed with the unspoken right to enter into sexual relations with her at his first "desire", feels like a copyright holder. If a girl expresses disagreement, insults and humiliation are directed at her: "Why are you making a" virgin "out of yourself," pierced "after all?"
And the girl, feeling ashamed, thinks: "Indeed, I am not the same as before. And if so, it is not clear what is possible, what is not?" An attitude is formed towards oneself as a spoiled thing.
So it is with borders. Having allowed one time to violate their boundaries, a person, often, can not refuse further. After all, once he allowed to do some kind of action with him, to influence his attitudes, and if he did, then it’s possible again, so it’s okay?
So, the man for the first time allowed himself an insulting statement about a woman, she said nothing, not wanting to stir up a conflict. Not receiving a harsh rebuff, the man continued to insult, and each time his words became more and more nasty, and his behavior more and more disgusting.
The mother helped her daughter more than once, looking after her grandson, while she worked, sacrificing her plans. When once again the mother refused to help, because there was a need to go to the hospital, the daughter was offended at her, expressed her indignation: "Before, after all, you did not go to the hospital, somehow lived? And now you let me down?"
A man, walking with a woman, spoke to her for a long time about love and kinship of souls, and, at some point, unexpectedly suggested: "I met an interesting lady here. I would like you to have sex with her. You will do it for the sake of me, darling, considering that my birthday is coming soon?"
One friend offered another to sniff heroin. When a friend refused, an offended phrase followed: "Well, I tried it. Don't you want to support me?"
At a corporate party, the director, knowing the employee's family values, persuaded him to have sex with a secretary.
The boss of the company constantly nagged at the employee, hinting that she could atone for her mistakes with intimacy. The employee shied away. On New Year's Eve, he called her and offered to come to his house dressed as a Snow Maiden. Another evasion of the woman led to her dismissal.
A person who has betrayed himself, his principles, can lose respect for himself, lose his inner supports, fall under the influence of a manipulator and even become dependent on him.
The manipulator can violate your time boundaries, constantly being late or, conversely, being ahead of time, violate physical boundaries (for example, during the session, the psychologist sat the client on his lap and talked like a daughter), friends can abuse your help and hospitality, in In a store, the seller can impose unnecessary goods, toxic emotions, immoral acts, etc. can be imposed.
I remember my case, when the driver of the company, whose job was to deliver me and other employees on business, began to offer sex. After the refusal and the designation of hard boundaries, the driver said that he refused to take me and dropped me out of the car. It is clear that, in addition to my boundaries, it was also a violation of professional boundaries, as a result of which administrative measures followed.
Violation of personal boundaries is always fraught with consequences, sometimes very serious.
Dear readers, what do you know about your borders?
Recommended:
Your Own Life Or A Relay Race From Your Childhood? The Right To Your Life Or How To Escape From The Captivity Of Other People's Scripts
Do we ourselves, as adults and successful people, make decisions on our own? Why do we sometimes catch ourselves thinking: "I am now speaking like my mother"? Or at some point, we understand that the son repeats the fate of his grandfather, and so, for some reason, it is established in the family … Life scenarios and parental prescriptions - what impact do they have on our destiny?
Relationship Boundaries: How To Define And Maintain Them? And How Can You Maintain Your Relationship?
In my opinion, each of us should remember that we are not born with instructions for use, we do not walk with it, carved on the forehead, therefore other people tend to cause us inconvenience: to say what we are not ready to hear; call when we are already / still sleeping;
Parents Are The Worst Violators Of Your Personal Boundaries
What are personal boundaries? This is the feature that separates you, your "I", from everyone else: from your parents, husband, friends. In this line there are circles in which you allow your close and not very close people. But even in these circles there is a bar that no one should step over.
What To Do When Your Boundaries Are Violated - Three Options
When people climb on your head (cleverly - violate boundaries), you can (and even should) take one of three options. I will talk about them in this article. 1) The hardest and most necessary step is to deal with yourself I think it's not a secret for anyone that people have different boundaries, and violation of boundaries is also different.
How To Recognize A Manipulator And Guilt? How To Stop The Manipulator And Eliminate The Feeling Of Guilt?
How to recognize a manipulator and guilt? How to stop the manipulator and eliminate the feeling of guilt? Imagine, one of your close people asks you to do something, but you cannot or do not want to. A colleague talks about a boss who is not happy with your report, his father complains that you rarely call him … Sometimes we manipulate ourselves, but this type of manipulation is difficult to recognize, since it is in the subconscious.
