2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Deadly envy
Born to crawl - he will not allow to fly.
- She is dead!
- Dead? Oh, moments like these are worth living for!
(Death suits her)
During the writing of the note, as well as before and after, not a single living creature was harmed. I hope.
Do you know the urge to kill someone because they are better than you?
Yes, for me. I admit - I tend to be jealous. Of course, I did not realize this desire, because I was too cowardly to implement it, but there were thoughts that the object of envy would disappear, or accidentally twist my leg.
Why envy called one of the deadly sins?
Maybe that's partly why. The religious interpretation of envy, although verbose, is not complete: “Envy is sorrow because of the well-being of a neighbor, which seeks not good for himself, but evil for his neighbor. The envious would like to see the glorious dishonest, the rich - poor, the happy - unhappy. This is the purpose of envy - to see how the envious falls out of happiness into disaster. Saint Ilya Minyati
This is just one tiny facet of the meaning and significance of envy. Envy is a voluminous and complex feeling. It is classified as such - a complex experience that consists of anger, interest and shame. Anger, to take away, to destroy the boundaries of the owner of the desired object, interest, curiosity towards him, and shame as punishment for not being like the other who has what I want. Not fair!
In general, like this: I want what you have. Since I do not have this, then I am a nonentity. In order not to be mortified by shame, one can beautifully devalue and make the other one squalor. Not physically, of course. An example about fur coats. (He haunts me): "Do you even know that animals die to sew this vulgarity?" Animals die, of course. The one who, instead of admitting that he also wants a fur coat, but does not have for any reason, makes a flayer out of its owner is also bent.
Who do we envy?
We are jealous of those who pose a threat to us. Threats to our self-image. I consider myself smart and promising and try very hard to “keep the brand”, And then someone else, not so smart, in my and public opinion, suddenly makes an unprecedented career and becomes the property of the republic.
How is this possible? How is it possible to survive and not sink into the ground?
No way. Hello fiery dungeon of shame and heartbreaking envy! Physical pain can be experienced in pursuit. Because as soon as we envy, the anterior cingulate gyrus, a region that plays a key role in pain processing, is activated in the brain. Our brains process abstract feelings in the same way as physical experience. Moreover, envy "lives" in the same place where the pain is. Physiology is joking, but life is pain!
So that's about the threat. There are options to deal with what threatens us. I'll try to list: attack / attack, freeze / die, run / avoid. Now it's the same in terms of envy. When I'm jealous, I can be aggressive and rude, but honestly take away what I envy. I can still suffer and be self-deprecating from my mediocrity, weakness and what kind of defectiveness. Because someone has, and I do not. And I can pass, supplant envy, for a number of historical reasons, and perfectly devalue another, innocent person. Another side of suppressed envy is insensitivity. Sensitivity is lost and I can provoke another person, regardless of his feelings.
I cannot say that these ways of dealing with envy are “beneficial” for the health of all participants in the action. The first, at least humane in relation to the envious person. When envy and anger are available, the energy of feeling finds a way out and does not creep out in any way for health, except for the possible criminal liability of an envious person, for example.
In envy, as in any other feeling, there is a lot of vital energy, vitality. It often happens that the feeling is not recognized. It is impossible to survive it for various reasons. For example, if envy was condemned in the family, and envious people were treated like lepers. Then unconscious envy generates energy, and it, following its nature, seeks a way out. If it does, then there will be devaluation and aggression towards the bearer of my need. If he does not find it, somatization will become a marker of the fact that some feeling, need is not realized.
There is a treasure of need under the stone of envy. Envy marks the underlying desire. I want what I don’t have and I admire it - and this, too, looks like many-sided envy. Note that they envy only the symbol of an unmet need. Here it is useful for oneself to answer the question: if I possessed this, then what would it give me? Otherwise, you will inevitably face disappointment.
A trivial example of money envy. I can envy those who have a lot of money. Honestly, I envy. But what does it mean for me to have big money: success, status, independence, recognition, love of others, apartment, car, beauty, freedom? In my case, this is independence and freedom.
And for my neighbor in the stairwell, the symbol "a lot of money" can include a completely different meaning. It is possible to receive money, even to feel relief from it, but satisfaction is not possible if you do not follow your own need. The secret is that striving for "big money", and not freedom, I am going in a different way. I then have no choice of path. There is no freedom. My own path is completely different from the road to money.
What if envy lives on?
Envy. You have the right. After all, there is a feeling of envy. And I also want to shout: stop! See what happens to you. Realize what you really want. And it will be therapeutic. The bifurcation point will appear in focus. And with her the ability to choose. The path will open.
Just in case you get jealous, remember that ten people who want love want it in different ways.
How do you want love?
And you don't have to kill anyone.
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