2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Often, the inability to create a marriage or family is associated with a simple and trivial thing - the inability of a person to stay in close relationship.
No one told him that a close relationship is not only happiness and mutual understanding, but also a lot of work.
First, by adapting to the characteristics of each other.
Secondly, by keeping each other in different states.
After all, if you do not know this, it is extremely difficult to transfer the dissimilarity of your partner to yourself, different pictures of the world and different ideas about beauty. What can we say about the criminal inability of another to guess thoughts and foresee desires!
For example, a girl will be sincerely outraged that her partner does not rush to solve her problems by the elusive movement of her eyebrows, as was the custom in her parental family. After all, this is exactly what real men do! Any fool knows!
The other extreme is when we fall apart from any affect that our partner or ourselves falls into. (And not falling into is difficult, because close relationships awaken many difficult memories of childhood and parental family.)
How many people are piously sure that only those couples in which everything is bad are quarreling. Quarrels mean that the wrong partner is chosen. Too many mismatches! We must disperse and not waste time with each other!
As a result, a relationship, if it starts, ends very quickly. There is always an endless search for "halves", "quarters", "prYntsy", "prYntsy", "the only" or "the only" that will turn the world upside down.
Which, of course, will never happen, because the most beautiful princes and princesses will sooner or later start pooping - right into the quivering soul:)
Or, alternatively, suffering begins over the "wrong scenarios": "I always choose the wrong men / women!" All my love stories end the same!"
There is a great chance that the matter will turn out not to be in mysticism and not in a generic curse, but in the fact that a person does not know how to hear himself and the other, prefers to communicate with his fantasy, and not with a partner, expects from a partner what the partner cannot give in principle, or not focused on finding compromises.
Therefore, sometimes it is important not to run headlong from someone who seems inappropriate, but to make an effort on yourself, to abandon a beautiful picture in your head, to accept it as an axiom that the other person is not obliged to meet your expectations. After all, only then does a direct dialogue become possible, which aims not to accuse the other, but to understand.
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