2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is very important to say no sometimes. This is necessary in different cases, but sometimes it is very difficult. It’s so difficult that it’s almost impossible.
Why is it impossible? Many fears appear: suddenly they will stop loving, they will cease to appreciate me, they will leave me, they will begin to treat me worse. Yes, sometimes it is. Not everyone is ready to accept rejection. Not everyone is ready to accept you now as you are. Some are unable to perceive "no" at all. It is very difficult for them to understand that their plans do not correspond to yours at all, they refuse to accept that you may have your own circumstances. Everything should "revolve" only around them.
But you don't have the strength to make everyone around you happy. And why should you say no to yourself while agreeing with another? Why can't you take care of yourself first?
Personally, I also get upset when I'm refused, but I accept the other person's choice. Personal boundaries are most important. And they simply cannot be seen if not shown.
That is why it is necessary to say "no" so that people can see where your personal boundaries are. Yes, it will offend some. But why offend yourself and endlessly move your boundaries? It is also worth accepting someone else's "no."
How do you know when to say no?
Ask yourself questions:
- I want this?
- Do I need this?
- What will it give me?
- Is it "no" now or at all? (if only now, then you can offer an alternative yourself).
Mikhail Ozhirinsky - psychoanalyst, group analyst.
Recommended:
“What Will They Think Of Me?”, “They Say About Me”… - Myths That Prevent You From Living Or Reality?
"What will others think of me?" "They talk and gossip about me …" We often hear such or similar phrases. You can also observe similar posts on social networks. If about posts, mini-publications, then they are mostly of this nature:
Psychologists About The Flash Mob # I'm Not Afraid To Say
"I was raped at the age of 8", "my friend and I just walked away from a naked 70-year-old man", "he grabbed my buttocks right in public transport", "passed by, stopped and pushed me into a car forcibly, then raped "
Learning To Say No Is Important For A Child
If you always obey your mom, dad, grandmother, educator, teacher, then how can you say no to those peers who offer to smoke, drink? The ability to say no is honed at 3-4 years old, and at 13-14 years old it is too late. An important social skill of self-defense that was not developed in childhood is already difficult to develop.
Ability To Say No, Boundaries
I CAN SAY NO, CAN YOU? You know, my dears, for me the ability to say “no” is one of the surest signs of a healthy human psyche. I do not take egoists and “consumers” as an example (they have the other extreme). After all, it is the ability to refuse that speaks of the adequate boundaries of a person.
An Opportunity To Say Yes To Yourself Or A Reason To Say No
I often hear a bunch of excuses. Excuses in a different area. "I won't succeed because I don't have the appropriate education." "This is all good, but in reality it is not at all true." "I would have done that, but my family will not support me.
