2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Do you often think that in fact you do not know how to do anything, and not today tomorrow you will be revealed? The deputy will gloatingly rub his hands while signing your letter of resignation, the girlfriends will roll their eyes and argue over a glass of champagne that “they have long suspected”, and the primary school teacher Mary Ivanna will throw up her hands indignantly. And it does not matter at all what kind of "… tsat" you have been for a long time, that you are a recognized specialist in your field, that red diplomas do not fit on the wall, and recruiters are lining up. It doesn't matter that you support yourself, have overgrown with the necessary symbols of success and adore your work. From time to time, you still feel overwhelmed by the feeling that all this is not real, and you just cleverly learned to simulate success.
If you recognize yourself in the description, congratulations - you're all right. According to various studies, up to 70% of successful people suffer from impostor syndrome. The key word is successful. Reflection is not characteristic of real impostors. So the good news is that you are in great company. Among those who openly admit their fears are the writer John Steinbeck, the actress Jodie Foster, the magnificent Isadora Duncan and even Albert Einstein himself (well, what would you like if everything in this world is relative:)).
The term impostor syndrome was first mentioned in an article by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Ames in 1978 in the context of the problem of self-esteem: “Despite external evidence of their solvency, people susceptible to the syndrome continue to believe that they are deceivers and do not deserve the success they have achieved..
Actually, it is on self-esteem that everything rests against. The impostor syndrome is a kind of perfectionism - when everything that is done seems insufficient, imperfect, imperfect. At the same time, self-esteem can be either underestimated (“I’m unlikely to succeed”), or overestimated (“how can someone other than me do it!”). You will be surprised, but in some situations, people with normal (adequate) self-esteem are also characterized by phantom pains of the impostor syndrome. That is, it's like herpes - it happens to almost everyone, but not everyone talks about it.
Where does it come from:
- from childhood - and where without it:) Overly demanding parents, devaluation, psychological abuse, comparison with other children in the environment, too successful or, conversely, "socially unprotected" family. "Where are you, shorty, to play basketball." “I also thought of marrying Natasha - where are they and where we are” - all this contributes to the development of doubts about their own abilities. And even when you, both in word and in deed, proved to the whole world what you are worth, no, no, and a worm of doubt bites: “Is it me? Is it my merit? Or did the stars just come together so well?
- from the peculiarities of the psyche - there are a lot of options for accentuations. In short, everyone has their own cockroaches - not scientific, but for sure:)
- from various traumas at a young age - "Katya was given the main role, but you didn't", "Misha went to the budget, and you went to the paid department", "Masha is already earning, and you are a parasite"
- from the syndrome of an excellent student (he is actively promoted to the masses "fear of becoming a janitor") - if you do not pass the exam, life will end. And for many, however, it ends. Parents, ay!
- from work projects - for example, they worked all together, and only one person received the award. So the others didn't work well enough? Does not mean. It's just that someone knows how to sell themselves better, while someone in the company initially has more rights (to the head of the department a prize, to the rest “thank you, great fellows”).
How it is expressed:
- it seems to you that your achievements are not your merits, but a successful combination of circumstances
- you are afraid of exposure and try not to take on additional responsibility, or, conversely, constantly overload yourself in an attempt to prove to the whole world that you are in your place
- you do not adequately assess the degree of complexity of the tasks being performed - it seems to you that others are doing better, easier and faster, although their level of responsibility is significantly lower than yours
- you are overly concerned about the opinions of others - even outright trolling of dull-witted bots on the Internet makes you doubt yourself
What to do about it:
- Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses. If necessary, get the support of friends and the opinions of those you trust.
- evaluate yourself from the outside - conduct an objective audit of your professional position, salary, level of responsibility, degree of demand
- make a list of achievements. The chronicle of victories and defeats will allow you to see the path traveled from the side
What to do if it still seems like you're not good enough:
- to learn how to turn weaknesses into advantages: "I am not an expert in this area, but I have qualities that allow me to approach the issue from the other side." Or, for example, "I was invited to this project because I have a fresh perspective on things."
- admit my own imperfection - "I really do not know everything about this subject, but I teach and easily catch up."
- stop comparing yourself with someone - in the world there will always be someone better, and someone worse than you. This is an indisputable fact.
- live your own expectations - don't let other people's projections rule your life. For some you will be a hero, and for others a villain. This is an integral part of the game.
What if you can't cope on your own? See a psychologist. Impostor Syndrome is not a disease. This is a problem of shifting priorities, an inability to accept oneself, a question of boundaries and self-esteem. All the answers are already within you. A specialist will only help you find them. The ability to accept someone's help is also a skill that needs to be developed.
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