Infantilism And Maturity

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

- What do you want to know about infantilism?

- I want to learn about maturity, but I feel that there is no point in learning about it until I understand what infantilism is.

- What do you want to know? How to be mature?

- Yes.

(from conversation)

Infantilism - a simple thing. This means that a person is fixed at a certain stage of development, i.e. stopped developing. Today, infantilism looks like an inability to take responsibility. Remember how wonderful it is in childhood when there are people who will take responsibility for you? Or another example, many women say: I want to get married. Well, usually they are no longer 18 and many raise children themselves, but as soon as men appear next to them, they subconsciously turn into a child and begin to play a certain role of a girl. The question is: why? Surely, this is done because the woman does not know how to interact as an adult. Most likely, there is some kind of negative experience. But she remembers that when she was little, she was loved. And she subconsciously returns to the very place in her mind where she was a girl.

Being infantile, it is much easier to live, but in this case you will not achieve goals, because goals will be achieved by those who are older and older, those who are adapted to adult life. At the same time, it is not necessary that if a person, for example, earns well, then he does not have moments when he is infantile. In business, he can be a shark, but that doesn't mean he's mature in relationships. Often, I even see how in a relationship such men are looking for a mother or an older friend who will interact with them as with a child. The reason is simple - it was easier as a child. Psychoanalysis proposes to restore in your memories and relive those situations in which tension arose that you did not allow yourself to experience.

For example, Jung believed that infantilism is a consequence of sexual underdevelopment. Because no one allowed a person to go through all the stages freely and as much as he wants. He was either accelerated by friends on the street, or, on the contrary, slowed down by mothers, fathers, grandmothers and everyone else who spoke about it or did not answer questions, did not allow contact with themselves, with their bodies, with their sexuality.

Another infantilism of modern society lies in the fact that there are a lot of people living on the planet now. You don't need a lot of intelligence to survive on Earth. Our grandfathers, as children, had to survive as representatives of the species, because there was not so much medicine, it was possible to catch the disease, there was not so much safe entertainment, so they did not ride on roller coasters, but on snow ones. Even I, living on the outskirts of Baku, had to survive: I didn't have to get food, but I knew how to do it, because we still had such interests. Modern society has changed dramatically over the past 150 years. Humanity has increased 4 times, because it has become very easy to survive. The infantilism of today lies in the fact that children live with their parents until it is not clear what age, that parents are supposedly responsible for children, and therefore feed them until retirement - all this plays into the hands of the underdevelopment of our society.

In order to deal with this and grow up, we can do only one thing - to see and realize our underdevelopment, our infantilism. This is what we do at trainings. Development, constant development is the only thing that can lead us to harmony with ourselves.

If you know what maturity is in some area, this can be the basis for maturing in other areas. Only it is unlikely that something will work out if you do not realize your infantilism.

What is the main complaint we have towards children? Why can't a child be equal to an adult? Why is he "subhuman"?

The main complaint about children is that they are not as responsible for themselves as we would like. This is one of the simplest descriptions of infantilism.

By taking responsibility, we can increase our level of consciousness and our maturity. We mature by scaling our own responsibility. The author's position, which we talk about at the trainings, is responsibility. And you need to train in it not in order to answer Sergey Nasibyan or someone else: “how I created it”, but in seeing the connection between causes and effects and taking responsibility for yourself and your life.

Sergey Nasibyan