2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Don't dissolve, mommy, in me
It's great to think about children: about the future ones, about growing in the tummy, about newborns, about little ones and about adults. About their bunnies, beads, angels and fairies. And how many important questions mom needs to think over and solve! What to wear, what to feed, when and where to walk, who and what to treat, what method of education to choose, how to communicate, how to resolve conflicts and much, much more.
The smaller the child, the more thoughts in the mother's head revolve around this creature. We, young mothers, fall asleep thinking about children (or with children) and wake up with them. This is a great stress for our psyche, because we feel a colossal responsibility, and we do not forgive ourselves for mistakes in the field of motherhood. Therefore, we need somewhere these tons of information, these kilograms of solutions, these pounds of stress to drain. And we begin to tell other people about our children, discuss health and upbringing issues with mothers at playgrounds and on the Internet. We ask questions, share experiences, ask for and give advice. Mothers, especially mothers of young children, seem to be a separate huge community with their own rules, problems, resources. We are becoming experts in our own motherhood. And someone calls motherhood the meaning of their life.
But sometimes you can drown in motherhood. When day and night you think about the child. When you monitor discounts on diapers in an online store. When deciding where to start complementary foods. When you enroll your child in developmental activities. When you go to the store and buy him a new toy instead of the planned dress for yourself. When you buy jeans for yourself, so that it is convenient to go to the playgrounds, instead of the same dress. When you forget about pumps, because there is nothing to wear them under, there is no new dress. And nowhere. Not to dress up on the site.
When you remember that before pregnancy you wanted to enroll in manicure or massage courses, or go to a psychologist to figure out what you really want in this life. You remember and think: “No, now I can’t. There is no time at all, all the money is spent on the child, there is no strength either. When he grows up a little, so that he can leave to kindergarten, take to school, go to college to study in another city … Then I'll live! Let's finally go with a friend to the pub to drink beer and dance all night long! I wonder if moms have the right to dance all night?"
When the whole life begins to revolve around the child, then, firstly, the child begins to feel like the navel of the Earth, and secondly, the mother ceases to feel like a woman and a separate person. A person with his own needs, interests, ambitions, dreams, joys and sorrows. A mother who has lost herself in children does not know what to do without children. I'm not talking about rest and sleep. I mean globally - what to be interested in, how to have a good time, what to read, how to develop myself.
Therefore, sometimes a mother can experience great anxiety when she is not near the child for a long time (she gave it to her grandmother for a day or left somewhere). Because she has lost the habit of being a separate person. When only she owns all the parts of her body. When you can relax a little and not control everything around the child.
And if you let everything go by itself and gradually lose yourself as a separate person, then one day you can realize that apart from children you have nothing to discuss. And then the decree ends. It turns out that your past work has become completely uninteresting to you, and what you still do not know what to do. Because you don't know yourself. Or I forgot. Forgotten past dreams, goals, aspirations. I forgot that little girl who dreamed in childhood: “I’ll just grow up and then!..” That already happened then. And not when your children grow up, but right now.
So what can you do? Don't dissolve. Children don't need you to give them one hundred percent of yourself. Children need a lively, cheerful, interesting and happy mother. The mom they want to be like. And if mom is a service staff? If mom is a strict teacher? If mom is tired and with dull eyes? Who, then, to look up to? Let you spend less time with your child, but this time will be of a different quality. If you leave him for an evening with your grandmother or nanny and go to the theater wearing a dress and pumps, then the next day you will be surprised that you suddenly did not yell at the child when he did some prank. And when you sign up for photography courses, but cook pasta and sausages for breakfast, and not a super-healthy dish that takes two hours to cook (to save time and be in time for these courses), you will notice that nothing terrible will happen. And the child will see the mother with burning eyes. A mom who is doing something so interesting, so exciting. A mom you want to be like. A mom who doesn’t take it out because she’s happy with her life. And he lives his life one hundred percent.
Mothers, your love for children is priceless and beautiful! Fall in love with yourself with this magical love. Love your inner child. Appreciate yourself. And don't dissolve.
Recommended:
I Don't Feel Anything And I Don't Want Anything. How Apathy Devours Us
This is a very common complaint. Lack of feelings, a film of indifference, which imperceptibly drags on a whole life, swamps it with boredom, indifference and muddy meaninglessness. Dusty routine and constant fatigue are the eternal companions of this state.
I Don't Want Him Anymore. And I Don't Want Anyone At All. The Cycle Of Sexual Contact And Its Breakdowns
The area of intimacy and sexuality is filled with so many myths, dogmas and taboos that on the one hand, it will not interfere with the scientific, on the other hand, the human, adult look. Women often come to my sessions with inquiries on the topic of relationships, and in the process of work, one way or another, questions arise of dissatisfaction with their sex life.
Why Don't Men Meet Me On The Street And In Public Places? Why Men Don't Come Up To You On The Street
Why don't men meet me on the street and in public places? Why don't men come up to you on the street? One of the most frequent questions to a relationship expert from girls is: “Why don't men meet me on the street and in public places? On the street, at some events or concerts, in parks, in shopping and entertainment centers, in the office, etc.
"Don't Cry, Don't Be Afraid, Don't Ask." The Price Of Insensibility
Full control over emotions - isn't that a desirable skill for most people? To stand firmly the smirks of fate, not to experience mental anguish, not to bend or break under any blows of fate and people. To be such an invincible samurai with an impenetrable face.
I Don’t Miss, I Don’t Call, I Don’t Cry
There is such a Miracle in the world - psychotherapy. Its main miraculous property is that you go to therapy with a specific goal: to throw out all the "rubbish", to heal. But the whole trick is that you are healed when your "
