When You Shouldn't Wait For A Miracle Or Myths About The Work Of A Psychologist

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-18 02:26

Often, having decided to seek help from a psychologist, a newly minted client believes in the miracle of psychology and is faced with false ideas about the work of a psychologist. This, in turn, generates overestimated and unjustified expectations from the process and / or the specialist himself. Failure to justify these expectations leads the client to deep disappointment with counseling (and often with psychotherapy in general), to aggression towards the therapist, to a feeling of wasted time, money, etc. In general, there is little pleasant.

In order to soften the blow in advance and return the client to the real world, in this article I cite the most common myths about psychologists and the counseling process that I regularly encounter in my practice.

Myth 1. A psychologist gives advice. He knows how to solve my problem! Otherwise, what are they teaching at the institute? (variations: the psychologist will solve the problem for me; the psychologist knows better, he knows better, he is also a specialist; psychologist = magician, psychologist = clairvoyant, psychologist = predictor, etc.).

The most widespread, in my opinion, delusion. No, as a rule, the psychologist does not give advice (I am no exception). And the psychologist won't tell you how to live. For this, there are other people, of whom, as experience shows, there are many in the environment of the client. The function of a counseling session with a psychologist can be compared to a mirror room, where the role of a psychologist in a conversation with a client is to be a guide, to create conditions under which the client can examine his situation from different angles and, as he is ready, make an independent decision on how to proceed.

Myth 2. One consultation will solve my problem.… As a rule, no. At the first 1-2 consultations, the specialist and the client get to know each other and outline a rough plan of joint work. It can be compared to life: imagine that you went on a first date. How often do people get married after their first date? I don’t think very much:) Is it necessary to get married at all? That's right, it takes time to get to know each other, to get to know each other, to understand the goals of the partner, and so on.. It is the same in consulting: the duration of the process and the number of meetings depend on the specific case and the depth of the client's request. Obviously, working out your relationship with your parents, getting you a job and marrying you in 5 consultations is an unrealistic task. But you can understand the reason that does not allow you to find a suitable job and outline guidelines for eliminating this reason in 5 sessions.

Myth 3. A psychologist prescribes pills. As a rule, we are talking about antidepressants, antipsychotics, tranquilizers and normotimics. These drugs have the right to be prescribed by a specialist with medical education. For example, a psychiatrist or psychotherapist in a clinic. The psychologist has no right to prescribe medication (see Myth 11).

Myth 4. You can get hooked on going to a psychologist. I will go there forever. Especially individually. Someone goes to 10 meetings and, having successfully solved their problem, forgets about hikes once and for all. Someone, having solved one problem, decides to work with an even deeper one and significantly changes the quality of their life. Someone really needs constant support. Someone walks throughout life, for example, with interruptions for a year or two. Someone leaves and comes back. As you can see, there are different cases. No one will force you to go to a psychologist forever - that's for sure. You can leave at any time.

Myth 5. A psychologist can work with any topic. I recommend that you familiarize yourself with the field of activity of the selected psychologist in advance. It often happens that one specialist works exclusively with children and adolescents, another - with adults, and sometimes there is a "universal" specialist. As a rule, a psychologist talks about his professional boundaries on his website or page in social networks, depending on where you found him. If it so happens that you came with your child for a consultation with a psychologist who works only with adults - do not despair! In most cases, the specialist will redirect you to one of his colleagues who is working with your topic. Even if this is not so, then no one will force you to come for a second session (see Myth 6)

Myth 6. Any psychologist is suitable for any client. It's a delusion. Each client has his own psychologist. And this is influenced by a lot of factors, for example, the approach in which the specialist practices, his area of competence and much, much more. It so happens that a specialist simply did not suit you in the manner of dressing:) A psychologist is the same living person who may or may not suit you. And that's okay. (see next point).

Myth 7. A psychologist is a person who "feels nothing" (variations: a psychologist does not have his own problems, a psychologist is an ideal person, he is never angry, always happy, calm like a Buddha, and you can also insult him, beat him, because he will not be offended, etc.).

To explain what is at stake, I will give a somewhat exaggerated dialogue between the client (C) and the psychologist (P):

K: - You know, I very much doubt that you can help me! You have only 10 years of practice and you are only 35 * with a sneer * How can you know how I feel ?! * with irritation * You have no children and your husband is alive … And in general, I believe that as a specialist, you are a complete sh ** but!

P: - These words hurt me.

K: - For what reason? * surprised * You're a psychologist! So bear with it! Maybe you are still angry? Exactly! Shit-specialist!

P: - What keeps you from seeing such a specialist?

K: - Well, how is that? I have already paid for the third session! Should you help me at last?

Should I comment further? Yes, a psychologist, like any other living person, has his own problems, difficulties and feelings. At some point he may be calm, at some he may be alarmed, offended, angry, happy … However, the psychologist knows how to interact with his feelings and separates his personal life from the counseling process. For this, psychologists undergo personal therapy and supervision. And no, you can't beat psychologists! He should not tolerate and discuss such behavior of the client.

Myth 8. Something mysterious and incomprehensible happens at a psychologist's appointment. In fact, the approach I am working in implies, you will not believe, a conversation. At the session we will talk, I will ask you questions. Sometimes I give my clients small assignments, exercises. I won't wave a magic wand in front of you, I don't use a magic ball either. You don't have to lie on the couch either:)

Myth 9. The psychologist works with each client on different conditions. No, for me all clients are equal and respected equally, regardless of external factors (age, gender, nationality, financial situation of the client, etc.). Accordingly, the conditions are the same for everyone. The exceptions are the reduction in the cost of consultations, which are compensated by the client's permission to use the session materials for scientific or pedagogical work, about which an appropriate agreement is concluded with the client.

Myth 10. It is a shame to tell a psychologist about your experiences. What if he will tell someone else about them? In my practice, I adhere to the Code of Ethics of a Psychologist, which implies adherence to the principle of confidentiality of our work. The willingness to share certain experiences is determined by you.

Myth 11. I don't need a psychologist, I'm not crazy. One of the most common misconceptions.

A little theory:

• Psychologist- a specialist who studies the manifestations, methods and forms of organization of mental phenomena of a person in various fields of human activity for the solution of research and applied problems, as well as for the purpose of providing psychological assistance, support and accompaniment.
• Psychologist- works with mentally healthy people (clients, not sick people) who have any difficulties or who have found themselves in a difficult life situation.

Psychiatrist- a specialist with a higher education in the field of psychiatry, the field of medicine that studies mental disorders. Unlike psychologists who are not doctors, psychiatrists assess patients' symptoms to determine their effect on physical, psychophysical and physical illness.

To summarize: if you are a mentally healthy person who is in a difficult situation and you are unable to cope alone - welcome to a consultation with a psychologist.

Myth 12. A psychologist is the same as a good friend. Why pay more?(variations: why do I need a psychologist? / I go to church to see a priest, I am a psychologist myself and I have many friends).

My "favorite" delusion. The difference between a psychologist and a friend is that the psychologist is neutral in relation to you and your situation. When you come to a psychologist, you also give money for being a psychologist as opposed to a friend or relative doesn't:

• does not evaluate
• does not interrupt
• does not give advice
• does not expect or demand anything from you
• does not judge or blame you

Are there many acquaintances in your environment who are ready to listen to you for an hour, talk about you, observing all of the above?

Believe in a miracle, it's not bad. But don't forget about the real world.

I wish my readers to keep in touch with reality.

And I'm waiting for those who are ready to look into the essence of myself at my consultations!