Motivation For Self-study. The Main Mistakes Of Parents Part 1

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

As part of the coronavirus pandemic, our lives have changed dramatically. Almost everyone has to master new living conditions: to work in a new way and to learn in a new way. Not surprisingly, many were confused and panicked. It is especially difficult for adults, because they need to adapt themselves, and in the shortest possible time, but also help their children navigate distance learning. This is an unusual format for children, and most importantly, it exposes those points that are, as it were, veiled in a regular school. I'm talking about self-organization and motivation to learn now. In a standard school we have so-called "tugs": attendance, teachers, grades and parenting meetings. It all somehow disciplines and keeps within the framework. But you and I understand that children learn because they SHOULD, and not because I WANT))

In a remote format, a huge responsibility suddenly falls on the child, but at the same time, and "freedom". It seems to them that since they don’t need to go to school, they don’t need to study. Although freedom has become very conditional lately. During seasonal quarantines, children are asked a lot, it seems that the teachers want to make up for everything that they do not have time to do in the classroom. Previously, the reaction of children about quarantine was like this: hurray! Now it's more often: Oh no!

All these distortions "helped" in quotation marks to form a negative attitude towards distance or self-study. The child cannot imagine how it is possible to learn with pleasure, independently and at the same time spend half the time. When a child has not formed the correct attitude to learning, then he has panic and confusion. All this is passed on to parents, who begin to ask questions: how should we be? What to do? How to get a child to learn? How can I control?

It is clear that the lack of motivation and self-organization was not formed overnight, right now it has come to the surface. Let's say thanks to the coronavirus))) and we have a great chance to turn all the minuses into pluses.

It would be unprofessional and not honest on my part, if I would now share with you my recommendations, all sorts of "buns and tricks" to help you motivate your child to study. All these tips, recommendations are very generalized, they can be read on the Internet, but they hardly work, because every child is unique and requires an individual approach.

There are two types of motivation: external and internal. Someone can promise to buy a new Iphone if he ends the school year without triples, for example. This is the so-called, extrinsic motivation … It is short in time and gives quick retracements. I'm tired of the phone, I will not study, I will wait for the next gift.

External motivation includes any promises - for every 5 ladies, 50 rubles, intimidation - "if you don't learn your homework, I'll take your tablet." The child understands that this is said by you on emotions, and sooner or later, he will have a tablet. Persuasions and manipulations, such as: "You will not study, you will work as a janitor," also do not affect the child. Under the age of 14 (note), children don't think in perspective. They, of course, can say: “When I grow up, I will become a businessman,” but they do not have a detailed idea of this, and even more so they do not prepare the ground for this. They live here and now. And only with older children can one speak consciously about their future life. Although now there is such a massive infantilism and adolescents of 18-19 years old often come to me who have no idea of their future life. They do not know what they want, they do not have a clear plan and scenario for their life. What can we say about 12-14 year olds. They are definitely not afraid of working as a janitor, they say: "Well, okay, at least with whom, just leave me alone now!"

So, if one child is motivated by the iPhone, then the other child's desire to learn may arise from spending time with parents and their support. When he realizes that his studies are as important and interesting to the whole family as the work of his parents.

Imagine that the whole family gathers in a family circle in the evening. Dad shares his work moments, mom listens to him attentively, supports and advises something. And if in this situation the child is not told: "go to your room!" or they confine themselves to the question “What grades did they get?”, but give them the right to share their day, and whatever the result, they will support it and help resolve the issue. This is intrinsic motivation..

When a child for himself forms an understanding of why knowledge is needed at all. For example, to achieve success in life, go to a prestigious university and get a high-paying job, competitiveness develops. As a rule, such internal, also called “sustainable” motivation helps a person to set goals and achieve them throughout his life. It is very difficult for a child who is not interested in learning to apply the knowledge gained in practice, and the lack of motivation for the educational process leads to chronic academic failure.