Proven Ways To Encourage Your Child To Do Your Requests

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

THREE STEPS METHOD

If you want something from a child, you don't have to put it in orders or demands. There is a great way to motivate your child to act in the direction you indicate.

Step 1 - describe the situation

Briefly tell your child why you are asking him to do something. Thus, you attract the child's attention, show him respect, explaining your request, and provide new information.

"Your shoes are staining the seat."

Step 2 - use polite words

Use whatever polite words you prefer to accompany requests. Saying polite words to the child, you show your friendly attitude and appeal to the child positive emotions even BEFORE STATING YOUR REQUEST.

"Please be kind, etc."

Step 3 - state the essence of the request

After preliminary preparation, state the essence of your request. By this time, the child already understands why he is asked to do this or that. And he is already in a friendly mood, thanks to your politeness.

"Get your feet off the seat."

The sequence of steps should be exactly this, this makes the method effective.

Practice this way of making a request with the following examples:

- The child pushes the dining table while eating

- The child is listening to music too loud

- The child climbed onto the windowsill

2. THE LAST FIVE MINUTES

It is difficult for children to immediately tear themselves away from some interesting activity. However, our life is arranged in such a way that it is nevertheless necessary to come off. In order to mitigate the situation, inform the child in advance what will be required of him soon. For example, when planning to get ready for a walk or getting ready for bed, tell your child 5 minutes in advance that you will soon need to take some action by interrupting the game. Timers or hourglasses can be used with young children who do not know the time by the clock. The movement of the sand gives the baby a real idea of the time passing and your intrusion into its activity will be more predictable for him. Taking the LAST FIVE MINUTES can help you with your daily routines, following a routine.

3. BAN IS AN ALTERNATIVE

By forbidding something to a child, you are likely to arouse his resistance. The child expresses himself in action, for him action, activity is life itself. Saying "don't do" is the same as telling a child - "don't be." Often he simply cannot fulfill your prescription, he forgives himself in current activities.

On the other hand, if, nevertheless, the child obeys you and interrupts the unwanted action, then it is not known what he will take instead of this action, and whether his behavior will be better than before. Even more undesirable behavior may replace unwanted behavior, and this will also require parental intervention.

In order not to turn the communication between the child and the parent into a series of remarks, use the PROHIBITED ALTERNATIVE method.

When forbidding a child to do something, instruct him to do something.

"Don't paint on the wall, you can draw here on a piece of paper."

"Don't shout in the house, you can shout in the garden."

How would you use this method in the following cases:

- The child pulls out cultural plantings at their summer cottage

- The child noisily rushes around the apartment

- Children started a game and throw heavy toys, risking to interrupt everything in the house.

It is important that your prescription is, in fact, close to the child's action that you plan to limit.

3. REQUIREMENT

This simple and environmentally friendly method is very close to the PROHIBITED ALTERNATIVE method.

Instead of forbidding something to the child, instruct him to act in a certain way. In this case, you simply LOWER the ban and leave the requirement for the child.

The prohibition interrupts the activity, and the requirement prescribes this activity, but in a certain way. For a child, the second is preferable, he understands exactly what they want from him, but at the same time he does not hear the prohibition, which always sets a person up for some kind of defense of his independence.

"Do not shout" (prohibition, interruption of activity) - "Speak in a small voice" (prescription)

"Do not rush here" (ban, interruption of activity) - "You can only walk here" (requirement)

"Do not be distracted from the task" (prohibition, interruption of activity) - "Focus on what you are doing" (prescription)

Practice using the method with the following examples:

- Don't make noise (ban) -…. (prescription)

- Do not go all day in pajamas (ban) -…. (prescription)

- Don't you dare beat your sister (ban) -…. (prescription)

- Do not spread porridge on the table (ban) -…. (prescription)

Requirements should be formulated as specific as possible, it is difficult for a child to comply with instructions such as "behave yourself" or "sit at the table like a person!"

All the proposed methods will help you in daily communication with children, if you use them often enough, do not leave them as a last resort, when more rude methods have already been tried.