2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are so many interesting things on the street! Trams rattle, planes hum, trucks rumble. Puddles on the asphalt, "hello" - I say to my shadow! Get me off the stroller faster! Follow me! Dogs, cats, crows, pigeons, seagulls: everyone sounds. Sandbox: I can touch the sand, sort it between my fingers, put a spatula in a bucket, throw sand. I go in a wheelchair. A familiar turn, an entrance door. Home already ?! No I do not want! I have not yet ridden a swing, have not counted the rings, have not looked at the balloons stuck in the branches. Well, please, let's take another walk. I want to go out! I demand to walk! I am offended, I am angry, I scream and cry. I will resist to the last, while you bring me home. You are stronger than me. It's hard for me to calm down. Why are you denying me my simple desires ?! Despair and powerlessness.
Hysteria is an extreme form of protest.
The protest may be related to checking the boundaries of the adult world.
“Is everything stable? Can I still rely on the rules of life? Are they still in place? Nothing has changed, am I also not allowed, for example, to cross one road? Thanks to the stability of the boundaries, the child feels safe, the world is predictable for him. This situation allows the child to actively explore the world, realizing cognitive interest.
The boundaries of the adult world can be roughly divided into objective and subjective.
Objectives include, for example, a ban on independent access to the carriageway, playing in places of possible fall from a height, playing with dangerous objects (knife, fire, electric meat grinder), using hazardous substances inside (medicine, detergents, etc.), prohibition on causing harm to another person, etc. These restrictions protect the child and his environment and take care of their safety.
Subjective - conditional rules that are accepted in each specific family and culture. Also the rules related to the individual characteristics of the parents. For example, “you can't eat sweets before soup”, “you can't shout in a public place”, “you can't eat with dirty hands”, “you can't break toys”, “you can't point your finger at people”, “you can't jump on the bed”, etc. Subjective boundaries are flexible. Members of the same family may communicate these rules to children in different ways. Or the parent may be inconsistent about the same rule. An adult can severely restrict himself, "build up" and will demand the same from a child.
The protest may be related to the refusal of the parents to fulfill the child's wishes. Desire can be realistic and impossible. Desire arises within the boundaries of the adult world. The more subjective boundaries in a child's life, the less opportunities for creative self-realization, the development of will, and active self-presentation.
Do we want the child to become an active, proactive adult, with great potential to achieve their goals? Perhaps it is worth starting now to help the child become like that. Maybe it is worth expanding the child's freedom in situations not related to safety (objective boundaries)? Reconsider those conditional boundaries that are associated with stereotypes, internal limitations, with the fears of an adult, with the field of subjective boundaries, rather associated with the reality of his childhood.
Perhaps this will reduce the number of tantrums and help the child in his creative exploration of the world.
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