Lose Weight And Get Married

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Okay, stop. What attitude would you describe as "appropriate"? (She turned on the psychologist. I warned that I would grumble!)

Who put something there? Oh, I get it. The relationship and the partner that pleases you? That is, do you have an idea what kind of partner you need

Yes, yes, I understand, the main condition is to “accept me as I am”.

"Back" stop. (She turned on the mischievous and grumpy psychologist again.)

What are you? And with what fright you should be accepted with all the cockroaches, if in relation to the future man you already have a certain "standard" in which he is "supposed" to fit. So we will accept only one way?

Lyrical digression:

Ale had no luck with men. No, there was no shortage of them. A young, sociable girl, a visitor of club number 1, could easily make a new acquaintance with interesting guys. She's not the type to sob into her pillow after a breakup. Active search is "our everything"! Social networks, parties, gyms … Here are just relationships with men - as if a blueprint. Both begin and end. The same. Men are different, and all are goats. There is no other way to put it.

Alya had already begun to think about karma and that kind of nonsense, which she didn’t believe in when she was born, because the same scenario haunted her from time to time. Well, these guys don't live up to her expectations! Well, it's the same every time. Some kind of gozlopotok, really! At least one King of Beasts!

And this fool, Alena, found herself a second husband. Wow widows are having fun! Maybe not a king, but quite a decent one. Certainly not a goat! She sat and sat in splendid isolation, saying that she would never get married again, because the first husband had discouraged the hunt, but, come on, she married someone that Alya would not mind. And, the main thing, it's useless to ask this fool how she managed it! Says loneliness is conducive. What? To point a finger at you that a loner, the third grade is not a marriage? No, Alya does not have that much time to wait for the weather by the sea. She needs it right away. One left, the other came.

Alena lies recklessly that she was only concerned with herself. I suppose I was on dating sites. No, it was evident, of course, that she had changed her way of life.

I stopped going to club number 1, some acquaintances there, of course, my heart hurts, everyone knew her there with her husband…. I made some repairs in the apartment and moved to club number 2. I changed my job, everyone there also knows her as Genkin's wife. In general, she has changed, she even made other girlfriends, we call back from time to time, only from old memory, but there is nothing to talk about.

I asked her, well, tell me, how can I be? She says: "the year of wanderings." Some kind of fool. True, she later explained that it was figurative. Say, you need to give yourself time to be alone, to understand what you want. It is clear and so what I want. A guy with a big salary. Or business. And to love. Me. The way I am.

Girls come to the consultation with about such stories. The age-old question that turns into a request is how to meet HIM? It's not easy to meet, keep, marry yourself and so on.

Let me say a few words about such a request. And about the consequences of its execution

If a girl constantly steps on the same rake, most likely, she may be interested in a certain circle of potential suitors. If she doesn't like this circle, then she herself will have to change. And this recommendation is similar to the one that can be given to girls who want to change the behavior of their relatives. The one who is not satisfied with something in his life acts with his own "hands". It was the one who came to a psychologist for help. The rest of the participants in her life, apparently, are all right. They are happy with everything. And, if the decision "to act, and not to complain about fate" has been made, then here is a "menu" for you.

It takes time to change, of course. And the "year of wanderings", no matter how figuratively it sounds, it is required to understand the vector of its further development. What does vector mean? I'll explain. If the request sounds like “to frame a rich man”, then the vector of development will be in the direction “pleasant” for men of the circle from which one would like to frame the “alpha male”. And this vector may contradict the girl's own interests.

Her own interests may lie in a different plane, probably, there are also "men are found", but not the same as the girl drew herself. (Or someone didn’t draw for it. They say that social assessment is the very, very engine of advertising. I said this in a whisper, do not inadvertently blurt out). Better or worse there are men, in another plane - we do not know. And we will never know if she decides to adjust to the interests of the future “ideal” husband. Socially approved, everyone's envy.

What "shines" for a girl who decides to change herself for the sake of a man from "high society"? Not knowing from within the laws and conventions of this society, as well as the preferences of the men who "live" there, she takes information from open sources and thinks that she understands what men, so unavailable to her now, want. She tries to match. Them. Strictly follows the instructions of the coaches who pretend to know what men of this circle want and teach what is "in sight" - the manners and style of behavior of a girl worthy of the attention of such a man.

The girl acquires these manners, tries her best to match, more precisely, to look. One hundred percent. What's the catch? Yes, the fact that inside she remains the same, from club number 1, and the outer gloss or demeanor will deceive the future husband only for a short time. Or maybe they won't be deceived at all. In any case, all the secret someday becomes apparent. Will get sick of posing as a socialite. You can pretend, sit beautifully and eat, of course, all your life. And also technically competent sex - at the level. “And talk?”…. as they say … About this "talk", so that heart to heart, broke into one trough ….

It remains to change internally. So as not to impersonate anyone, to BECOME that lioness, a full member of that circle. This, of course, is a different job and a different responsibility. You can also try. If this is what the girl herself wants.

About your own desires - further. What "shines" a girl who, leaving for a while furious attempts to get married, will spend the "year of wandering" on herself, and only on herself?

Perhaps she will understand what she wants. She. Wants. What kind of life she likes. Organizes her home the way she pleases. It will be an oriental style or modern techno, hi-tech - does it matter if there is no one to consult with? Maybe she decides to pick up a kitten, or maybe she becomes a vegetarian, or maybe … Anything can happen!

Even the understanding that on men the light did not converge in a wedge. And, surprisingly, such girls become a magnet. Not just for men. They sit as they feel comfortable, eat what they have chosen, and talk about what they want to talk about. And they smile. Because they know, life is beautiful. They are financially independent and, perhaps, they have a hobby that the future man will have to reckon with. They are unlikely to betray their hobby (themselves) for the sake of a man (money). Is that a man will be attracted by about the same as a girl, and…. they will hang out in the kitchen at night, discussing new projects and dreams.

I don't know how tempting that sounds. Some kind of uncertainty in life, and even with a kitten … Kitchen, stools … Hobbies of some kind. We don't know any hobbies!

However, the owner is a master. More precisely, the mistress is a lady. The girl has an opinion that her happiness will be "made" by a wealthy man - go ahead. If a girl's own development is subordinated to a specific goal, then this goal is very important. More important than this girl herself. Therefore, he will endure, fall in love, look beautiful, and get used to it. It may be easier for her to live in “someone else's clothes”.

Then you shouldn't waste time on the "year of wandering" to find the treasure inside yourself, what if the girl is tempted by the "false" brilliance of her fate? And this is when she herself is the mistress of her, fate! I will give it to whomever I want. Your destiny. Let him make me happy, and I'll see how he copes, otherwise - to the scrap ….

Together with a psychologist who sticks with self-development, instead of stupidly marrying a girl!

Your Irina Panina

Together we will find the way to your hidden possibilities!