2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Everyone knows that it can be very difficult for a mother-in-law and a son-in-law to get along.
The psychologist offers three golden rules for these relationships
Rules for the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law:
The first is the non-interference of mom and dad in the personal life of the newlyweds.
Second, we help when asked and to the best of our ability.
Third, we do not criticize our son-in-law, because it is useless and by this we cause fire on ourselves.
The rules of the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law:
First, we call the wife's mother: MOM. By this we reduce the psychological distance from the mother-in-law.
Second, we do not criticize the mother-in-law, it is useless, and by this we cause fire on ourselves.
Third: - we give compliments to the mother-in-law - the wife's mother is worthy of this, she brought up the woman you love for you.
How can a married couple live together with their wife's parents provoke problems in the relationship between a son-in-law and a mother-in-law?
1. Infantile affection of a daughter to her mother. A young wife is not able to decide anything on her own. As a result, the mother-in-law takes full responsibility for maintaining the family budget or raising children.
The son-in-law in such a situation ceases to understand who he married - his daughter or her mother.
The only recipe for a son-in-law in this situation is to prove to his mother-in-law that he is the man who is responsible and independent and who can be trusted with his beloved daughter.
2. A son-in-law's bias towards his mother-in-law may arise due to the fact that he had serious problems in relations with his own mother. A man can unconsciously transfer childhood grievances and disappointments to his wife's mother, and be annoyed at the sight of his mother-in-law.
The only recipe for a mother-in-law in such a situation is to get rid of and not impose your vision of solving family problems. But to respond to requests and not demand gratitude.
3. Your mother-in-law is possessive, bossy and jealous. The daughter is jealous of the influence that her husband has on her.
The only possible way to pacify your mother-in-law is to let her feel like a weak woman, and she will let your family breathe freely out of gratitude.
4. If the son-in-law did not like the mother-in-law and from the very registry office she dreams of divorcing her daughter. At the same time, he exposes the slightest mistake of his son-in-law to ridicule, undermining his authority.
The way out for the son-in-law is to create a coalition with the father-in-law. Male solidarity and a sense of humor will help to survive this struggle. More joint affairs of the father-in-law and the son-in-law (garage, football, fishing, etc.) will lead the mother-in-law to the idea that her daughter made a good choice after all.
5. A mother (single) may feel uncontrollable jealousy for her daughter's happiness.
The way out is to give a single woman the feeling that she has someone to rely on both mentally and in everyday life.
What to do if a way out of the conflict between the son-in-law and the mother-in-law is not found?
There is only one thing left - to disperse. The further away from you the mother-in-law lives, the less chances that the wife will leave with her things at the slightest misunderstanding (a good way to learn how to resolve conflicts in an adult way!).
The farther the newlyweds (son-in-law) live from you, the sooner you will get used to the idea that the children have grown up and they have their own lives, and you have yours.
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