Change In Psychotherapy: Myth Or Reality?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why do people come to a psychotherapist? They come for change. Psychotherapists use the promise of change depending on the degree of their adequacy or, for example, as an advertisement for one-time visits.

What should those psychotherapists do who do not promise changes? I would like to explain what we are doing, to convey to potential clients how psychotherapy works and how changes in the clients' lives, which we do not promise, still occur.

For a clearer explanation of how psychotherapy works, consider it from an orientation teaching perspective.

We constantly orient ourselves: in a room, in a text, in a situation, in ourselves or in another person. Lack of orientation, as well as its erroneousness, can lead us away from the goal, make our actions inadequate (to something or someone). In this case, it is difficult to use the opportunities that are provided to us, to receive benefits for ourselves.

The skill of orientation is being trained. And it is obvious that the skill of finding a parked car, for example, did not come from birth. The skill of orientation is developed in everyone in different ways, including one person in different spheres. In addition, almost everyone has areas (for example, traumatic experience) where it is difficult for us to see, hear, feel anything in the present, and, therefore, correctly orient ourselves and act.

In the gestalt approach, the therapist helps to train the skill of orientation in the present. The task of psychotherapy, in a sense, is to teach a person the skills to look and hear what is happening directly, without premature judgment that interferes with seeing reality. Slowing down, asking questions, listening, the therapist maintains the client's attention to his feelings, feelings, needs, attention to what is happening between the client and the therapist, as well as attention to himself as a part of this system. He explains, supports, encourages you to take your time.

Gradually, the client learns the same. Already outside the office, in his life, he begins to see, hear, feel a little more accurately, and accordingly - to orient himself more effectively, to act more adequately. Already the Inner Voice becomes explanatory, supporting, rather, encouraging not to rush to conclusions, decisions, actions.

While the child is growing up, parents teach him how to orientate, communicating and building a dialogue. But parents do not always have the resources for dialogue, since dialogue, unlike a monologue, implies the ability to hear the answer to your words. If there is no time for this, there is not enough attention to be included, then the Parent's communications go in one direction. This is why the evaluating, criticizing, or “viciously silent” voice within us does not imply an “answer,” justification, or explanation. In this vein, psychotherapy is the restoration of dialogue as a tool for more accurate orientation.

Changes with the client in psychotherapy are in some way a “by-product” of learning attention, inclusion and dialogue with oneself and others. It is they who help the client in every situation not to lose touch with their own landmarks. To understand that at the moment "like - not like", "I want - I do not want", "take - give". If necessary, then be able to tell other people about it and hear their answers, and not your own fantasies. Due to this, the world around becomes not simpler, but clearer and more understandable. And actions in it are no longer as risky and dangerous as actions in complete darkness.

Changes are taking place. But these are, rather, changes in the person himself, in his life competencies (skills). These changes also occur just like that, without therapy, as a result of the experience gained by the person, the analysis of this experience and its appropriation. But sometimes "walking in a circle" takes too long or costs us too much, so we don't want to wait. Psychotherapy makes the experience more manageable and safer. Over time, clients find that their lives have become more manageable and safer. And this, you see, is a lot.